Funnier If He Had Used "The Clapper"

This is an odd story. The gentleman to the left is incarcerated in a Pakistani prison for making moonshine. He was recently found with a lightbulb inserted into his, um, rear cavity (one assumes fat end upward). He claims that he just woke up one day to find it there. Whatever.

Apparently, it required some delicate surgery to remove the thing. Oddly, I had a conversation about this very topic with some ER doctors many years ago. Apparently, this is not that uncommon of a case (well, if more than once can be considered "uncommon"). The solution that I suggested turns out the be the same one the docs decided upon: unscrew the lightbulb and pour in quick-drying cement. Then you lube up the poor bastard and yank out the item. See, the danger is that the glass will shatter and lacerate/infect the sensitive tissue.

The best comment about this story comes from "Satinsmum" on the Rotten.com forum:

"He was hoping for light at the end of a tunnel."

Stay tuned to Deonandan.com, your number one source for "lightbulbs- where- the- sun- don't- shine" stories.

Everest, Ho!

My retired grade 9 English teacher Harold Lass has successfully trekked to the Mt Everest base camp. On the left is a pic of him dwarfed by the rocky Himalayan gods. Harold has placed other photos of his trek online here. Apparently, he even had an encounter, though at a distance, with one of my boyhood heroes, Sir Edmund Hilary!

Dave sends us this site filled with cool advertising images.

Darth Vadum sends us this uber geeky video.

And have I mentioned how much I'm enjoying the new Dr. Who series? David Tennant is proving to be a charmingg and energetic Doctor. Even the scripts are better than those of the Eccleston years, largely due, I think, to the fact that one man (the producer, Russell T Davies) isn't writing all of them.

Billionaires and Bandwagons

Yet another has joined the Al Gore '08 bandwagon. Just remember who was the first to drive that wagon...

Which Nazi said it? Hitler? Coulter? Can't remember? Take the quiz!

Superstar billionaire Warren Buffett is giving away 85% of his considerable fortune to the Gates Foundation. That's the way to do it, baby. Buffett and Gates: billionaires a mama can be proud of.

'Sall I gots today. Sorry.

Email

For some reason, the Deonandan.com email server is not working today, which means that if anyone has sent email to my "ray at deonandan dot com" address today, I have no received it. It remains unknown whether I ever will receive it.

So, until this matter is remedied, please use "deonandan at gmail dot com".

Thank ye kindly.

Oh, Here It Comes...

Canada is presently undergoing its national census. As an epidemiologist, census data is important to my profession, and I hope whoever is responsible collects comprehensive and accurate data. However, I'm more than a bit put off by the way it's being done. Since I'm rarely ever at home, the door-to-door census takers often miss me. So, on a number of occasions, I've been left with a note, a portion of which is excerpted above. Note that I have not boxed the emphasized portion; it came that way.

The document stresses that it is now a federal law that all respondents must respond to the census questions. It also states that the same law guarantees our data's security and confidentiality. Do note, however, that nowhere on the document is it indicated that the information given be accurate. So, I ask, what use is it to legally compel people to give information, with no effort to increase the likelihood of the information's accuracy? All rather silly.

Of course, the civil libertarian in me rebels at the idea of the government forcing me, by law, to give over personal information of this nature. I have nothing to hide, I just bristle at these strong-arm tactics, enforced by unemployed student types who bicker you door-to-door. So I refused to respond to any of the notes and phone calls. Finally, one of them came to my door when I was miraculously at home, so I gave in and answered their silly questions. You know what? If they had just asked nicely and laid off the heavy legal threats, I might have cooperated sooner.

In the news today was a story of a rural Albertan town that is resorting to increasing municipal property taxes to pay for what amounts to a bribe to attract a physician to their community (in terms of subsidizing his living costs, above and beyond his salary and billing income). Some of the residents are rightfully peeved, since their provincial tax money is already supposed to guarantee minimal medical services. Yet what is the municipality to do? They need a doctor!

The dearth of family doctors in Canada really is a fascinating phenomenon. Here in Ottawa, heart of Canadian medical research, it's pretty much impossible to get a family doctor; I don't have one, and I work in a hospital! So the shortage is real, as various medical lobby groups have been warning us for decades.

Now I'm going to ask an unpopular question: what's the freakin' hold up? Canada does not produce enough medical graduates, it seems. And why the heck not? It would be a simple matter, investment-wise, to scale up our medical schools' ability to double capacity. And believe me, there is no shortage of qualified candidates for medical school, most of whom are presenty turned away due to a shortage of spots.

In the immediate term, as has been well discussed elsewhere, there is a plethora of foreign-trained doctors living in Canada who are presently denied medical licences. As this article discusses, Canada is rapidly becoming known as a country that discriminates against foreigners' professional qualifications. The rate-limiting step is the re-qualification process demanded by Canada's various professional medical associations; in addition to the re-qualification exam, the bottleneck is created by a lack of internship positions available to foreign MDs. (Even foreign MDs with decades of senior experience are required to go through the intern process.... and when I say "foreign", I don't mean American or British, if you know what I'm sayin'.)

And why are there not enough internships? Well, that's a good question. Let me be provocative and say that I blame the professional medical associations who, historically, have strived to keep the numbers of doctors down in order to increase their value and bargaining power. Fortunately, it is my belief that the new generation of doctors is wise to this duplicity and is struggling to realign this bias, but it's not happening fast enough. Thus, it's time for provincial governments to step in and legislate the faster re-certification of foreign doctors, many of whom are better trained and more experienced than Canadians, and to forcibly create more dedicated re-certification intern positions with expedited completion trajectories.

While they're at it, it's time for provincial governments to do away with the current medical billing models which invite abuse and urban clustering. Salaried models are working quite well in test sites in places like Kingston, Ontario. Privatization is an issue to be tackled on this blog at a later date.

Well, if we manage to produce more graduates and certify more foreign doctors, that probably won't help that rural Albertan town, since most MDs will still cluster in the big cities. Some provinces are playing with incentive models for doctors who choose rural postings. But let me be controversial again. In Canada, education is subsidized by tax payers. Medical education is extremely subsidized, even though, increasingly, medical students are paying more tuition than other types of students. It is therefore not unreasonable for the taxpayers to expect something back from their investment. It is not unreasonable to codify, in the tuition rules, that certain professionals must work in jurisdictions of need, or else risk repayment of all subsidized tuition plus interest and a penalty. Does this sound anti-civil libertarian and a bit draconian? Perhaps, but we already apply such rules to other vital professions, like the police; RCMP and provincial police work in communities dictated by the government, not chosen by the individual.

A similar rule should apply to doctors who are trained in Canada but who choose to work abroad: they must pay back the saved tuition or otherwise compensate the taxpayers for their investment and potential lost returns. I think there's a philosophical argument to be made for the ethical liability of a doctor who accepts publicly-funded training but who fails to deliver care to the taxpayers who paid for the training.

Some may see this argument as being particularly harsh on a given profession, and they would be correct. However, there is much precedent for this approach. Up until a few of decades ago, for example, it was illegal to accept into medical school anyone over the age of 30; the rationale being that a public investment in the training of someone over 30 would not result in a suitable return-on-investment in terms of years of service that individual would subsequently provide.

Does any of this seem overly unfair or dictatorial? Or are there other solutions to consider? I await your comments.

The Bench Recognizes The One-Eyed Gentleman In The Turtleneck

In my neverending quest to convince the world of my heterosexuality, I strive to collect digital proof of my association with attractive women. So, to the left, here I am at that Indian Canadian Chamber of Commerce BBQ I blogged about a few days ago, pestering the heck out of one of its other attendees.

Speaking of shmoozing events, I was fortunate two nights ago to attend the gala celebrations of National Aboriginal Day in Ottawa. Given recent anti-Aboriginal comments by supporters of the Conservative federal government and the government's dismantling of the Kelowna Accords, I was curious to see if there would be any official representation from the government present. Well, the bureaucracy was well represented, as were other nations --indeed, the honourary Chair of the event was the very humourous High Commissioner from New Zealand-- but no official member of the Conservative regime was identified, though maybe I was just too drunk to notice one. But if my survey of the room was accurate, this does not bode well for Aboriginal affairs in this country. Mind you, I hear that the Prime Minister did do some ceremonial stuff elsewhere.

Now remember, this site no longer carries what used to be called "the daily perv link". Why? Because by linking to news items of disturbing acts, some people misinterpret my intentions. (Of course, my intentions are well displayed on the official Deonandan.com disclaimer.) So, whatever you do, don't click here. (And if you do, remember: that's not why they call it "puppy love.")

Now here's an interesting news item. The US Appeals Court has rejected use of the "penile plethysmograph" test, which is a test involving the use of a device which measures a penis's responses to certain visual stimuli presented to its owner. Why would someone do this? Well, if I show you a photo of a pre-pubescent boy and your willy wobbles, it's supposed to suggest that you have paedophilic tendencies.

I for one --not surprisingly-- applaud the US courts for their decision. This device is right out A Clockwork Orange or Orwell. It purports to measure the mind of an individual, and then to institute legal consequences for what it supposedly finds in that mind. Nothing can be more anathema to the concept of a free society.

And let's not even discuss whether the machine actually works. As any owner of a penis knows, the bloody thing can be unpredictable at times; sometimes, like the French, going on strike for no discernible reason; and sometimes, like a housecat, arbitrarily deciding that now is the time to get up and move around. I'd hate to have my penis as my primary character witness in any criminal court case.

In other news, India Currents Magazine has published my article on "The False War Between Civilizations", which began here as a blog post.

Don't Get Me Started

My little cousin Jenny is all growed up now and has taken a gig in the US Peace Corps, stationed in Burkina Faso! Let me say on record that if any wrong were to befall her, I would personally lead a commando team (made up, sadly, of my high school D&D buddies) to extract her. Cue the A-Team music! In the mean time, she has started her own blog from that country. Read it at burkinabebe.blogspot.com.

Meanwhile, here's a story about how dinosaurs actually co-existed with humans! (Yes, I'm grinning and shaking my head as I write this.) Where did I find this link, you ask? Well, the Western Standard Blogs, of course.

As a follow-up to yesterday's obesity and nutrition post, British environmentalist George Monbiot has this interesting article about how the global need for Omega-3 fatty acids will completely deplete the world's fish stocks. In fact, according to Monbiot, the world is already dangerously low on fish biomass!

Nasty Nick sends us to a yet another blog hosted by an epidemiologist. What, I'm not the only one? Here it is: scienceblogs.com/aetiology.

Which brings us to today's topic. It seems the rightwingnuttosphere is all abuzz about Republican Rick Santorum's supposed finding of evidence of 500 WMDs in Iraq! Oddly, the story is mostly being reported by such biased sources as Instapundit, which further feeds the Right's wacky conviction that the mainstream media (MSM) is huddling in conspiracy against "the truth".

But, as the Washington Post states, "[DOD] intelligence officials reaffirmed that the shells were old and were not the suspected weapons of mass destruction sought in Iraq after the 2003 invasion." When the Pentagon refuses to back up your hawkish theories, you know you're on shaky ground. Interestingly, Chris Cox had made the same false discovery of the same non-evidence more than a year ago.

Leaving aside the technical point that gas and most chemical weapons, like those in the report, are not WMDs (they are battlefield weapons, like mustard gas, which cannot be effectively weaponized against civilian population targets), the lesson of this fiasco is obvious: the warmongers are running out of justifications for their illegal, immoral war.

Let's recap. The Rightist apologists claimed that Abu Ghraib was an isolated incident perpetrated by a handful of overeager rednecks. They were wrong, as mountains of evidence now attest. They claimed that Saddam was stockpiling WMDs and hiding them from the UN inspectors. They were wrong, as even Bush now admits. They claimed that the invasion would be quick and decisive and ultimately self-funding. They were wrong. They claimed that the Iraqis would meet their "liberators" with cheers and flowers. They were so, so wrong.

The smarter ones claimed that the invasion would create an American-friendly safe zone for democracy, which would then serve as a beacon and warning to tyrannies in the region. Nice utopian thinking, but clearly wrong, wrong, wrong. When the Americans pull out (and they will, in the next administration), Iraq will be torn asunder, with its Kurd population suing for independence, its Shiite population seeking alliance with Iran, and its remaining bulk remaining tepid and powerless. Hey, the Rightist dream on this matter may still come about, I give them that, but so far all signs point to not.

The dumber ones claimed that the US invaded Iraq so that "we could fight terrorists over there instead of over here." Leaving aside the important question of whether it is moral to sacrifice another nation just to create a convenient battleground, this is one of the stupidest arguments I've ever seen put forward in a foreign policy context. Its biggest flaw is that it incorrectly assumes that there is a finite number of terrorists. As we have seen, recruitment rates into insurgent groups appears to be stable, if not acclerating, and Islam-based terrorist activites around the world have not decreased in the wake of the war. If anything, they have increased, largely due to "home grown" cells, such as those found in Canada and those responsible for Madrid. What the invasion has served to do is to create a powerful visual spectacle to encourage, not discourage, the recruitment of discontent Muslim men into groups advocating anti-American activities.

So now that all of their original reasons for going to war have been discredited, what do they have left? The bottom of the barrel, the one thing Bush and the neocons never discussed during the run-up to Shock & Awe: the war was actually to liberate the Iraqi people from that tyrant Saddam. Right. Pull the other one.

If they were so concerned about the Iraqi people, they wouldn't be dropping bombs on them, and they would certainly keep track of how many are being killed in this war (something the Pentagon refuses to do). If they were so concerned about the Iraqi people, they would not have tolerated a decade of crippling US-led sanctions which, by some estimates, resulted in the death of half a million Iraqi children. If they were so concerned about the Iraqi people, they'd be spending their blogging space arguing for increased police presence in Iraq, protection of its cultural treasures and the fixing of its infrastructure, instead of crowing to the moon about the "evils of Muslims". Guess what? Iraqis are, for the most part, Muslims.

And if indeed the invasion is all about rescuing the Iraqi people (give me a freakin' break), then it has failed horribly. Under Saddam, people were imprisoned, tortured and murdered. Under the Americans, people are imprisoned, tortured and murdered. Under Saddam, women were free of the veil, fundamentalism was almost unheard of, there was potable tap water, reliable electrical power, an efficient educational system, excellent hospitals, safe streets and a thriving 20th century infrastructure. Under the Americans, there is no regular power or water, minimal economy, rampant fundamentalism, thug rule on the streets and a rapidly crumbling infrastructure. Under the Americans, we have lost 1-3 generations of cultural and intellectual activity. Instead of the most advanced Arab nation in the world, as it was prior to 1990, we have a barely tenable nation of subsistence dwellers.

Now I'm sure some of the illiterates out there will misinterpret the preceding paragraph as tantamount to support for Saddam. If you are one of those people, I invite you to cower in your bathroom and insert large spiky objects into your orifices; you are too far beneath me to be worthy of response. The point, obviously, is that the invasion of Iraq has made life for Iraqis measurably worse in all respects except, perhaps, in respect of their theoretical personal liberties.

Are such theoretical liberties worth giving up safety, infrastructure, health and economy for a whole generation? Are they worth the lives of hundreds of thousands of people? Maybe. Some might say yes. I don't know. But I do know that we had no right to make that choice for them.

Fat Boy and Pale Girl

Here is a brilliant website. All hail the Zogg!

Meanwhile, Rondi's blog has a link to this excellent Folger's TV commercial.

Today's Charley Reese column is about Americans' right to be fat, and how government has no business in the anti-obesity business. I'm usually a big fan of Mr. Reese, but his curmudgeonliness can get a bit much at times. This is one of those situations where I don't think he has enough information to be able to present a reasonable position.

First off, it's within government's mandate to keep the citizenry safe, without overly limiting our rights in the process. Obesity is considered to be a disease that seriously adversely affects the health, safety and happiness of the people, and thus is fair game for government attention. The quest is, what kind of attention? Pointing out the issue and tracking waistline trends is the minimum government can do. Offering tax incentives for gym memberships is another level. Legislating healthy behaviours and portion sizes is, obviously, not a tenable path in a Western democracy.

Second, in Canada's case, one can make a straight-line argument that poor public health is economically deleterious, given our socialized medical system. Fat Boy next door to me is taking a bite out of my wallet each time he reaches for that next twinkie, since my tax dollars will be paying for his quadruple bypass --tax dollars that could be spent on better schools, better roads, anti-poverty programmes or curing cancer.

On the other hand, it's Fat Boy's right to reach for that twinkie, just as it's Pale Girl's right to suck back that third pack of cigarettes. Our economy has responded to the latter, though, by instituting the "sin tax", which forces smokers to cough up (pun intended) extra dough for the health care system. In fact, the sin tax in Ontario is so high that smokers more than pay for their own drain on the system. Is a fat tax wobbling down the road?

Clearly, our society's values are not compatible with government affecting what we do with our bodies. But, as I discussed in this article several years ago, the government already controls what we put into our bodies. It is illegal, for example, for us to inject heroin into our veins or to try to kill ourselves. The underlying legal assumption is that it is better for us to be "healthy", and that we all strive to be "healthy", thus the laws of the land should strive to assist us in becoming and staying "healthy" --which is a bit hypocritical, considering all the laws based upon maintaining structures, institutionsand products which make us unhealthy, such as pollution and insecticides.

Which brings me to my last point, that government has a responsibility to protect us, not from our selves necessarily, but from forces in society which seek to do us harm. Yes, this includes terrorists and criminals, but more importantly it includes corporate interests whose agendas are often orthogonal to humanistic interests.

In the context of obesity, it's government's responsibility to encourage companies to reduce the amount of high fructose corn syrup in food products, for example, just as it was its duty to compel companies to label their products with meaningful ingredients. HFCS is a cheaper, sweeter sugar alternative which is metabolized differently from glucose; it reduces satiety and increases belly fat, and is thus a major contributor to the obesity epidemic.

It is government's responsibility to discourage manufacturers from separating wheat into its three components --bran, germ and endosperm. The latter is nutritionally barren, yet makes up the bulk of wheat products our society consumes. It's government's job to discourage the use of partially hydrogenated oils in the place of plain old healthy fat; the former is cheaper, but is nutritionally toxic.

In short, there is much government can and should be doing to protect us, not from ourselves, but from food manufacturers whose cost-cutting manoeuvres are contributing to our fatness and to our society's medical insurance meltdown.

Dr. Deonandan Lives!

To the left is a photo of me giving my big Indian Arrival Day speech in Trinidad. There are other pics from the event, courtesy of TriniView. (For the truly voyeurish, here's a pic of me and some of the dignitaries in the audience.)

It is rare that a blog post rises to the level of prose poetry, especially when its topic is something as arcane and inaccessible as "missing data". But I want to congratulate Nasty Nick for his recent missive about statisticians dealing with missing data within datafiles. Yes, it's a niche market, but it's a remarkably well written post.

But this blog is all about me and my take on things. So let's talk about something that's not big in the news yet: Ryerson University's conferring upon Margaret Somerville an honourary degree for her work in ethics. The problem is that Somerville is known to most non-ethicists primarily for her philosophical arguments in opposition to same-sex marriage. Thus, many see a fundamental problem with honouring a person who would hold such views. It seems that at the ceremony, several professors on stage with Somerville, turned their backs to her and some held up placards denouncing her.

This is a tough one. On the one hand, it is not unreasonable to expect one's institution to embrace some core values that have been agreed upon, and then to see those values reflected in the selection of appropriate recipients of honourary degrees. On the other hand, it is my understanding that Somerville is receiving the degree for her life's body of work in her field; is it right for us to deny the quality of that work simply because she espouses a view that many hold to be heretical?

Personally, of course, I am not against gay marriage. I phrase my position thusly with intention. It is my belief that marriage is a matter for individuals, families and small communities to recognize; it should have nothing to do with governments and the law. But as a great believer in intellectual freedom, I feel that Dr Somerville is entitled to whatever view she chooses, even if it conflicts with my own; moreso if she can support it with reasoned debate, as she clearly can. All of this is, of course, moot to the matter of apropriateness.

What is useful, though, is to look at the case of Henry Morgentaler, who recently received an honourary degree from the University of Western Ontario for his pioneering work in making abortions accessible across Canada. Many of the same people who are presently defending Dr Somerville are those who decried the honouring of Morgentaler; and, conversely, Somerville's present protesters overlap with Morgentaler's defenders. So, as one online commenter put it, there's plenty of hypocrisy to go around.

None of this helps us to understand what constitutes an apropriate choice for the University. So in my naive, idealistic way, I suggest this: that it is okay for a person to be honoured for the good work that he or she has done, even if he or she has also done some work that we might find offensive. We should all strive to accentuate the positive, no?

I leave you with some interesting news. A friend is a screenwriter on the Canadian TV show, ReGenesis, which deals with smart, goodlooking people trying to contain bioterror disease outbreaks. As an epidemiologist, I've given my friend some content advice. My reward is that the show's sexy new female epidemiologist will be named... Dr. Deonandan. The producers might still veto the name, but until then I will bask in my name's celluloid immortality.

Mouth-Breathing Bigots and Imbeciles

Greetings from scorching hot Ottawa on a late Sunday night. My air conditioner just blew a fuse, so I had to venture out into the wilderness to the all-night Mac's Milk to by a new one. There, I was a sold a new $2 fuse and given valuable appliance advice by the store clerk who, in turns out, is an electrical engineer with 30 years of experience in Bahrain. And now he works in a corner store on the midnight shift. There's really something wrong with the way we treat immigrating professionals.

Today I also attended a BBQ hosted by the local Indian Canadian Chamber of Commerce (I'll go anywhere for free food) where I met several fascinating individuals, including a highly ranked fellow in the Treasury Board. He had some intriguing insights, among them that the Canadian federal government relies a great deal on management advice (on matters financial) from consulting firms, such as KPMG and Ernst & Young. However, the firms' local representatives have grown so dependent on government money over the years that their advice can no longer be relied upon to be agenda-free. The result is that the federal government is forced to go beyond Ottawa --and often outside Canada!-- for truly objective management consulting input.

On the one hand, I am relieved that at least key players are aware of the inherent biases held by local contractors. On the other hand, it is concerning that our feeding trough system necessitates the exporting of all that sweet consulting money.

I should point out that the ICCC is quite happy these days that a sitting Prime Minister deigned to attend its gala earlier this month. Formal pics of the event are here. Not sure how I feel about this development.

This weekend, I decided to infuriate myself by spending some time on the Canadian Right's dedicated website, the Western Standard Blogs, which is the online corollary to Ezra Levant's "conservative" newspaper, The Western Standard, whose publisher and writers have close ties to the new Conservative government. I visit the site on occasion. Why do I do this, you ask? I do it to remind myself of who the core audience of the Canadian Conservative agenda is, to remind myself of whom the Prime Minister is ultimately speaking and catering to. Who are these people? Well, here's a sample of some of the things that have been written on that site:

A. "[The reason Muslims come to Canada] is not all about multi-culturalism guys! It is above and beyond that. The very idea of multi-culturalim [sic] is a cover for left to destroy the western civilization along with its true partner which is the infamous Islamic radicalism... Do they (leftists) import them to ruin this society?" B. "China and India will soon have too many men, and may try to take our women." C. "Indians ... when I think of them I think of alcohol, drugs, prostitution, gambling, dead eagles, welfare, petty crime, fetal alcohol syndrome, obesity, illiteracy, violence, laziness, huge waste of taxpayers money, graffiti & broken down vehicles, a few chiefs living large on the booty they control while their tribe suffers ...When is our debt to these losers paid in full?" D. "The real problem in Canada is how to raise the level of awareness of people in order to understand the real threat. I suggest the creation of an organization aiming with the goal of closing all mosques and banning Islam in Canada."

The above is a truly representative sample of much of what is written there. I don't think any of it was voiced with humour, sarcasm or irony. I've said before that one can disagree politically yet maintain that all voices, regardless of political stripe, are ultimately striving for a worthy goal, and I still believe this to be true. But when I see publications and websites like those produced and supported by Ezra Levant and his friends, I start to doubt whether my position is defensible; I start to suspect that a solid core of the Canadian Right might just be a bunch of mouth-breathing bigots and imbeciles. And I wonder whether this government's policies may indeed begin to reflect the worst of such peoples' ignorance, bile and mental pathology.

On another topic, I'm still looking for a transcript of Thursday night's debate between Christopher Hitchens and Eric Margolis. At this point, even a thorough review will do. The only descriptions I've found so far are this one and this one, neither from an objective source.

I leave you with this public service ad and this study that suggests that there might be a link between migraines and needing sex. I'm a migraine sufferer, you know...

What's Next, DeonandanWatch?

Do recall, my droogs, that this site no longer logs the so-called "daily perv link". No, sir. It's no longer something that "we" at Deonandan.com wish to promote or explore or otherwise talk about. Don't need folks assuming that this site advocates deviant behaviour or animal abuse or any of the nasty things "we" are actually quite opposed to. That's why under no circumstances should you click here.

My current audiovisual fixation is, weirdly, a cover of Def Leppard's "Photograph" performed by The All-American Rejects. The video is here, and I am so ashamed to be plugging this bit of fluff. But therein lies my mood today.

Here's some non-fluff. I'm still looking for a review or transcript of last night's confrontation between Christopher Hitchens and Eric Margolis. In the mean time, Nasty Nick sends us to HitchensWatch; does anyone know if there exists a similar "MargolisWatch"?

Of course, as our neighbour to the south increasingly becomes a police state, it's not surprising to read stories like this one, which describes how Homeland Security is buying consumer information from private information vendors in an attempt to screen individuals for possible terrorist links. While, like all such stories, this one gives me the heeby-jeebies, it is interesting that the new anti-libertarian personal information industry is only made possible via rigorous adherence to the Freedom of Information Act. Sigh.

I leave you today with yet another sign of global warming: polar bears are turning to cannibalism. See, as the ice recedes, there is less food and smaller hunting grounds for polar bears, so they are actively hunting and eating their own. Polar bears are an indicator species, like frogs, whose disposition precedes tumult in their environments. Polar bears will be extinct in my lifetime.

The Rumble In The Concrete Jungle

Hey, droogs. Due to an incredibly heavy work load these days, I've not been able to post to this blog as frequently as I usually do. Fear not, I will be back in form very shortly, including the much requested post about my take on the recent Toronto terror arrests.

Tonight is the Murder in Manhattan, the War on the Shore, the Pinnacle of Pugilistic Punditry, the.... well, it's the big debate between Christopher Hitchens and Eric Margolis, which I plugged yesterday. The event, which is bigger than Wrestlemania for we pundit fans, is being held in Manhattan. I am sorely tempted to fly down, but my stress levels remain way too high for a last minute getaway like that; my doctors are recommending sedateness for at least one weekend.

Recently I was accused of "bias" towards Al Gore when I was talking about how enjoyable his film, An Inconvenient Truth, was. Let me be clear: I am not necessarily a Gore fanatic. I talk about him a lot here because, 6 years ago, I made the prediction that he will be President come 2009. I stand by that prediction. But it doesn't mean he is my preferred choice for President. Obama or Kucinich or even Nader are more in tune with my world view.

I will say this, though. In the movie, Gore showed excellent taste in cell phones. Yes, my droogies, he owns a Treo.

All Gore, All The Time

There's a professional wrestler named Rhino (or sometimes Rhyno) whose finishing move is the dreaded "gore". You know he's about the deliver the move when he retreats to a corner of the ring and sinks into his 3-point stance. The crowd responds by chanting, "Gore! Gore! Gore!"

Methinks Rhino may have to retire the move soon, if the former future President continues his meteoric rise to the pinnacle post-political stardom. (And descends again, as I predict, to seek the highest office in, perhaps, the world.)

I saw the movie last night. I am a scientist, but I'm not a climatologist, so I cannot authenticate the details of Gore's theses on global warming. Having followed the issues for a few years, though, I can say that most of what he talks about has, in fact, been vetted in the crucible of peer-reviewed science, which is usually good enough for me.

I am an epidemiologist, however, with some experience in outbreak origin work. So Gore's suggestion that the emergence of new diseases, specifically Ebola and Avian Flu, are due to global warming strikes me as a bit odd. Though, I suspect he's talking more about how global warming increases desertification and flooding, reduced arable land, moves large numbers of people into marginalised areas... and thus will increase their probability of encroaching upon previously unsettled (and largely unsettlable) lands, many of which are the breeding grounds of new and terrible diseases; this might be how Ebola came about, for example, with marginalised people beign forced into close association with previously isolated disease vectors.

But no matter. Despite appearances, the movie is not about global warming. It's about Al Gore. It talks about his youth as a tobacco farmer, almost losing his son, and the death of his sister. It makes sure to flame Bush and the neocons at every turn, but rarely puts those criticisms in Gore's own mouth. It touches upon his loss in 2000, making sure to include the quote about him not agreeing with the Supreme Court's decision. This is clearly a campaign video, especially given the inclusion of the latter, which makes sure to send the message that Al Gore didn't give up in 2000, he conceded for the good of the country, or some such.

An Inconvenient Truth is Gore's Profiles In Courage, a pre-Presidential intellectual product (also likely written by committee) designed not only to push a policy item, but also to re-position its ostensible author as an intelligent and moral leader.

Combined with Gore's recent Tonight Show appearance, in which he was brandishing one-liners which were clearly prepared by a comedy writing team, the movie sends one message that is clear, at least to me: the man is running for office in 2008.

Other Matters

Meanwhile, Harald sends us this story about yet another Nobel laureate laying into the Shrub. There's a strong trend I'm noticing: the smarter the person, the more intense his hatred for the Bush II regime.

Hot off the presses.... the debate to end all debates.... the battle of armchair critics... the one blowhard vs blowhard argument I've been itching to see for years is finally going to happen this coming Thursday in Manhattan. In fact, I'm trying to figure out if I can rationalize taking a day off work to fly down just to see this: Eric Margolis vs Christopher Hitchens! The debate will take place after a screening of the new film, American Zeitgeist. If any of you is in New York, please go see this debate and report back to me!
Bye for now.

mobile blogging once again

Greetings from the Toronto subway, where I am on my way to yet another meeting. Seems that's all I do these days. Again, today's post will have to be brief.

This Republican is also now on the "Gore will run in 2008" bandwagon. Darth Vadum suggests that the Right is talking about Gore in an attempt to subvert attention given to Hilary Clinton, which sounds like a reasonable analysis to me. But the linked article is interesting for it's historical content, showing the parallels between the careers of Gore and Nixon: both men were VP, both barely lost their Presidential bids (both seemingly due to chicanery), both sat out the next election, both denied any interest in the subsequent election... but so far only Nixon changed his mind. Will Gore? Well, you know what I think.

Gore has not given the so-called "Sherman statement" of unequivocal denial of interest in the Presidency. Assuming he still covets the big chair, what could be his strategy?

Obviously, an early declaration heightens the chance of "peaking too early". And it gives his opponents far too much time to prepare their attacks. Better to let the Republicans sharpen their knives for Hilary and slip in behind the carnage.

More importantly, though, I think Gore is waiting for a groundswell of popular support before he declares his candidacy. His new status as "movie star" may bring him that support.

The man is a politician. By endorsing Howard Dean in 2004, he showed that he still wished to exercise his political clout. And with every politician, there is an expected quid pro quo. Dean, now a powerful man in the party, owes Gore a big favour.

Everything is in place for a powerful Gore/Obama or Gore/Clinton ticket.

More Site Management News
A recently banned commenter decided to harvest several email addresses from the comments on this site. While I do require a valid email address before a new commenter is allowed here, please note that an address is not required for subsequent posts, just the initial one. And I am more than willing to mask that address, as well, if asked to do so.

Without fail, banned commenters have complained of the tyrranical way that I police this site. I don't need to explain myself, but it should be obvious that, because my name and face are emblazoned all over this thing, ultimately everything written here reflects on me and minimally on others. Hence my need to be dictatorial.

So Deonandan.com is not an open public forum. It is a closed private forum. The Podium is a public forum, but only for article-length comments, and is also edited and controlled by me.

So I ask you: is there a demand here for a truly open, public forum? One without a moderator and without rules? If so, I will happily set one up and host it here. Let me know.

Back To The Grind

The Regular Stuff
I'm sure somebody's wondering why I haven't been talking about the recent terrorism arrests in Toronto. I will... once I get more than 5 minutes of free time at a stretch. Until then, you get more Gore!

Yes, it's true that Gore has been repeating his assertion that he will not run in 2008, but I don't find his words to be convincingly assertive; 2008 is still a couple of years away. In the mean time, the man has become a movie star, which even more qualifies him for American political life. A Gallup poll reveals that Gore is the 2nd most supported potential candidate among registered Democrats (after Hilary Clinton). But I suspect that if/when Gore does run, he may actually do so as an Independent, which would be quite an exciting (and badly needed) development, given every thinking American's discontentment with their limited party choices.

The incident at Haditha, Iraq, in 2005, when a dozen unarmed Iraqi women and children were allegedly murdered by US forces in retaliation for an insurgency roadside bombing, is back in the news. Tom Elgelhardt compares the incident with the My Lai massacre of Vietnam. Meanwhile, an Iraqi doctor reports that there are many such instances of US/UK army abuse and murder of civilians, including blatant violations of the Geneva Conventions, which go unreported and undocumented. The lesson: the West learned nothing from Vietnam.

Really, in American eyes, what was the great tragedy that was Vietnam? Judging by news specials, books, movies, interviews and biographies of veterans, the great tragedy was the tarnishing of the American political and military reputation and the thousands of dispossessed vets who returned confused.

But, in the eyes of the rest of the world, the great tragedy that was the Vietnam War was, very simply, millions of dead Vietnamese. And therein lies the problem of why nothing was learned from that war, and why were are right back in the same moral quagmire, decades later.

Site Management Stuff
That's all for today, except that I want to add one note about the unfortunate comment exchanges from my Monday post. Let me be clear. Deonandan.com is not a democracy. It is a privately owned space whose rules and policies are determined and policed solely by me. As a courtesy alone, I make those policies known to you, but I am under no legal or ethical obligation to do so. If you don't like my rules or don't agree with the way I police them, then don't come here. Commenters are guests here and, to be blunt, have no rights of free expression on this site other than those I choose to extend to them.

Furthermore, those who have been regular visitors and commenters have earned the benefit of the doubt, because I know from experience that their motivations are ultimately positive ones. Whereas, it is incumbent upon newcomers to play nice until a relationship is established. This is not a rule that requires codifying, this is common sense and normal human behaviour.

Additionally, it should also be common sense that words have power. Words have tonality and subtext. When you write to a stranger, re-read your letter a few times and make sure you aren't being insulting. If the stranger perceives insult, even if you did not intend insult, you are still responsible for the content and impact of your words. It is thus incumbent upon you to both clarify your position and to issue an apology.

I'm not your daddy and I'm not your teacher. I'm not here to instruct you in anything, especially not in how to write. As well, I would ask you to consider this: every visitor here knows precisely who I am, whereas to me you are all mostly anonymous voices talking at me from the ether. That means that all I have to go on about you is what you write; I can't judge your moods, your backgrounds, your points of view or your contexts based on anything else. If you don't want me to misinterpret your intent or meaning, then take care to write carefully and clearly and to use words whose meanings will not be misinterpreted as attacks. (For instance, "naive" is an insulting word, regardless of how you think you meant to use it.) That's your job.

I'm a busy man and don't have the time to explain this to everyone who stumbles here, nor is that my job. Having dealt with too many trolls, I no longer have the patience for issuing every newcomer a "grace period". It is incumbent upon you to present yourself and your argument cogently and respectfully. Failure to do so will result in much unpleasantness.

Random Stuff

Not much time today.... really pressed. Let's get to it:

A Florida juge has ruled that it is unconstitutional to force students to take the US "pledge of allegiance". Well, duhh. I ddn't even realize this abomination was still being forced on American kids. Maybe they should just add the requisite "sig heil" at the end the pledge and be done with it?

There's an article over on this website about the nature of the short story market. It uses a number of my quotes.

Last month I mentioned a supposed epidemic of something called Morgellon's Disease in Texas. Due to public pressure, the CDC is now investigating the "epidemic", though all signs point to it being a case of mass delusion.

As language continues to be a favourite topic of this blog, I give you this link, shared by Nasty Nick, on the nature of "Engrish".

Darth Vadum, ever one to spoil the party, sends us this profile of a particularly vocal climate change skeptic. I think it should be noted that this same skeptic is on record as comparing Al Gore to Adolf Hitler. What is that fake axiom the Right wingnuts are fond of citing? Oh yes, Godwin's Law.

Also from Darth Vadum, it seems even the more extreme voices on the Right are arguing for a Gore run in 2008.

Indian Arrival Day Speech

Due to popular demand (both of them), I include below the text (as best I remember it, and based on my sketchy notes) of my speech at the Indian Arrival Day Celebrations in Port Of Spain, Trinidad, May 30, 2006.

One of the great joys of being an author within the Indian diaspora is that I get to meet other authors within the Indian diaspora. And when I do, I typically take the opportunity to ask them each the same question: "Why is Indian-themed writing so popular and so critically acclaimed right now?"

I ask them this because, if you haven't already noticed, much of the best writing in the world right now is by Indians; not just Indians, but Indians outside of India, and very often from right here in the Caribbean, including one Nobel Prizewinner from Trinidad who shall remain unnamed.

I've asked this question of people like Shyam Selvadurai, who is a Sri Lankan writer; M.G. Vassanji, who is an Indian from Tanzania, now recognized as one of the Canada's foremost authors; Hanif Kureishi, a Pakistani writer who is now a superstar in the UK; Guyana's David and Cyril Dabydeen; and many others. And I get a variety of responses, most commenting that Indians value education, and thus literacy, and hence can write well. Indeed, I've heard it described that for Indians the world over, education is a kind of worship.

I like that, I really do. But I think it was Vassanji who came closest to the truth. He said that Indians are culturally "fence-sitters". Literally. We exist at the borders of the world, where nations, peoples, races, ethnicities and traditions come into contact. Through this interfacing of traditions, we naturally produce vibrant and novel language and experiences that eventually become translated into literature and other forms of art.

I've had the great fortune to have spent much time in India, most recently in February, when I was honoured to give a talk at Jawarlahal Nehru University in Delhi. When I looked across the audience, I saw first saw a sea of homogeneous brown faces. But slowly I came to perceive a new truth, that this was in fact a pluralistic audience. In that room were speakers of Hindi, Bengali, Gujurati, Punjabi, Tamil and so forth. There were Muslims, Hindus, Christians, Jains, Parsis and more. The Indian tradition is one of innate pluralism, I came to understand, and this is indeed the quality that has allowed us to thrive throughout the diaspora, and has allowed us --as Vassanji implied-- to succeed in many artistic and intellectual disciplines.

Something remarkable happens to Indians displanced and transplanted in the diaspora. We retain much of what is singularly valuable about being Indian: elements of religion, the importance of family, language, food --oh how we love our curry!-- and we discard that which is counterproductive.

Do you know that one of the first things to disappear (or at least be minimized) when Indians leave India is the caste system? Things like caste distinction are anathema to the innate pluralism of which I spoke. What that tells me is that those Indians brave enough to have formed societies in East Africa, the Caribbean, Mauritius, Fiji and elsewhere were forward-looking, adventurous and inclined to embrace "the other".

(What is "the other"? Well, it's everyone our ancestors encountered when they spread forth from India: the other races, the other cultures, religions, languages and cuisines.)

Nowhere is that more evident than in the Caribbean, where "the other" is all about. We are innately a multicultural people, so despite the ubiquitous political tensions, it remains natural for us to want to negotiate with other ethnicities who share our physical space.

Let me tell you a story. I used to be a public school teacher in Toronto. One day, one of my White colleagues came to me to tell me about a Guyanese student he had. This student told him once, "Teacha, Ravi teef me pencil."

The next day, the student told my friend, "Teacha, Nelson jook me in de eye."

My colleague was confused. "What do these words mean?" he asked me. So I explained to him the meanings of "teef" and "jook". Later that week, he was using those words, too, this straight-laced White Canadian. By the end of the month, the whole school was using them. Why? Because they are good words, meaningful and descriptive words. They are such because they have been created by the best of several cultures. This is the power of diaspora, to create new methods, cultures, solutions and language.

I am an Indian from Guyana, so to me there is no better food in the world than Guyanese Indian food --though Trini food comes close! But the food isn't really Indian, is it? It's uniquely Caribbean, because its Indian base has benefited from the contributions of the Chinese, African, Spanish and Portuguese communities who also live in this space. That's what makes it so good.

I live in Canada, and there's one lesson from Canada that I would export to the Caribbean: revel in your multiculturalism. The era of the monotone culture is over. The future belongs to people who can appreciate their heritage --as we are doing here today-- but who can also value the ways in which their culture has been affected by having to negotiate with "the other". Our food, language and music would not exist without that negotiation.

Right now in America there is a slight anti-immigrant sentiment, which actually means an anti-brown sentiment. I'm not too worried about this. To me, this attitude represents the dying desperate gasps of the old world order. The future is multi-coloured, of that I am certain. Nothing's going to stop that.

On this Indian Arrival Day, we look back to the sacrifices of our ancestors who undertook an agonizing sea journey to create better lives for us, their children. But they also undertook that journey to create a new society, one reflected in Trinidad and Guyana and all over the Caribbean, and indeed all over the world. We can best honour their memories by striving to make these societies function.

So this is the challenge I set before you: look into yourselves and ask yourselves two questions:

(1) What does it mean to be Indo-Caribbean? Does it have to to do with religion, language, history, skin colour or something else?

(2) What is your hierarchy of identity? Is it more important for you to be an Indian, a Trinidadian, a Muslim or Hindu or Christian? Or is there some other factor that describes who you are?

And this is what I think you will find: your identity cannot be summed up in a couple of words. You are all of these things and more. Your complexity gives you depth and strength.

I had to learn this the hard way. I grew up in Canada, but I'm not fully Canadian: I'm not White and I don't watch or play ice hockey. So I went back to Guyana. But I'm not fully Guyanese: I have lost the accent and some of the traditions. So I went to India, and, despite loving the place, I certainly don't belong there.

So I came to the conclusion that I was none of these things in isolation. I am their sum total, just as you are. And that gives us a special kind of perspective that bleeds forth in some of the world's best writing and music, and through excellence in any number of fields in which Indo-Caribbean people excel.

So embrace your complexity, for it is your strength. Let's have a dialogue about who we are as a people, as Indo-Caribbean folk, and about how we can uplift those of us who are without confidnce or power.

Because, my friends, the 21st century might just be the Indian century, led by that percolating superpower on the subcontinent. Let us use this opportunity to become the confident and powerful --and unified-- people that our ancestors hoped we would be when they arrived here over a century and half ago.

To do any less does not honour their memory.

MMR and Autism... Again!

According to yet another article, Gore might be inching toward a run in 2008. Thanks to Shaila for the link.

Here's a story about a fellow being sued by Hollywood for running a bittorrent site. He will win the law suit, I am quite confident. And then I hope he countersues and shows those pissants what revenue loss really looks like.

Meanwhile, the regular bunch are abuzz with this story about a new link between the MMR vaccine and autism. This is a very important topic to me, since my beloved "nephew" (cousin's kid) is autistic. Now, I don't know if there's a causal link between MMR and autism, but I do know that there is so far no evidence to suggest, with any degree of strong likelihood, that such a link exists. (I've talked about this before here and here.)

In fact, I think it's important to note that the study's author, Dr. Stephen Walker, has since gone on record as saying:

“the conclusion will be simply that there is measles virus in the gut of a large number of children who have regressive autism and bowel disease. We haven’t done anything to demonstrate that the measles virus is causing autism.”

Methinks the media should really take greater care when reporting on scientific findings of this importance.

To The Waist In Bodily Waste

One of the singular joys of swimming in the ocean is that one is socially and hygienically allowed to urinate with one's pants still on. Yeah, you read that right. There's nothing quite like that liberating, naughty sensation of letting a stream go while floating in warm salt water.

So there was I was, yesterday afternoon, treading water in an isolated portion of one of Tobago's paradisical beaches when I decided to indulge in this particular guilty pleasure. So I shut my eyes and concentrated for a few long moments, because it takes an effort of will to overcome the social conditioning that prevents one from urinating in the open. And then I revelled in that particular form of bodily anarchy.

I was awakened from my closed-eyed reveried by the words, "Have you seen a Spider-man?" I opened my eyes to find, inches from my nose, a very attractive young woman who was searching for her child's lost Spider-man figurine.

"Err, no," I said, loathe to tell her that she was now floating in my warm bodily waste. Then again, for all I know, I was also floating in hers!

We humans can be strange beasts.

Greetings from Toronto airport at 5:AM as I await my flight to Ottawa, having just arrived on an all-nighter from Trinidad & Tobago. My last couple of days in that country were quite the whirlwind, ending pleasurably with a sojourn to the tropical paradise of Tobago, land of pristine beaches, Afro-Caribbean culture and thick Napoleanic Era history.

But it was Tuesday that was really interesting. That day began with an 8:AM interview on "Radio Shakti", where I was in way over my head, trying to discuss political issues in a country where I don't fully understand the politics, and historical details in the presence of two men who were clearly better versed than I was. But I survived.

Next, I returned to my medical scientist persona, and gave my presentation on children's mental health at the Caribbean Studies Association's conference. Not much to say about that, except that it is curious that while I have no problem making improptu media appearances to discuss topics I'm only casually briefed on, the idea of presenting on topics which are actually within my professional field of scientific expertise continues to fill me with some dread. Probably has something to do with higher stakes, greater potential repercussions and a more judgemental forum.

But Tuesday night was the real kicker. I was quite honoured to be the featured speaker at the official Indian Arrival Day celebrations, hosted by Trinidad's National Council on Indian Culture, which was televised live nationally. The event was jam-packed and was attended by a series of dignitaries, including representatives from the government, the Indian High Commissioner and a parliamentary contingent from the UK.

Ordinarily, none of that would be sufficient to make me nervous, since my love for the sound of my own voice usually overpowers any fear of ostensible authority figures. But my uncertainty about the nature of the Trinidadian audience, the appropriateness of my language and of the topics I'd be touching upon, made me quite uneasy about my impending speech.

But it went well, and I ended up improvising about a quarter of it. Now that some people have requested a transcript, however, I have to now struggle to recall exactly what I said. In the interests of establishing an archive, I will post its text in this space once I transcribe it from the illegible hand-written point-form notes I have on crumpled hotel notepaper.

Many many thanks to my hostess I. for having arranged every last detail of my trip, and for the generosity of both her and her family, all of whom opened their homes and hearts to me in true Caribbean style.

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