Farked

Here's a round up of what I read on Fark.com today, complete with some images I stole from their forums:


A teenager is arrested for having sex with the pavement. I believe this was an earlier Daily Perv Link (TM). What I don't understand is why they were considering registering him as a sex offender? Whom did he violate? Whose rights did he suspend? Whom did he attack? No one! People, calm the frack down.



Now, here's a genuine Daily Perv Link (TM).... that is, if I were still collecting them, which I'm not. Man tries to have sex with a goat. At least he admits that his major motivation is that the animal would not tell on him.

In Other News...

Check out this quote by Israel's Deputy Defence Minister, Matan Vilnai:

"The more Qassam fire intensifies, and the rockets reach a longer range, they will bring upon themselves a bigger holocaust because we will use all our might to defend ourselves."

Is it really wise for an Israeli official to be casually brandishing the word "holocaust", especially in the context of what they will do to someone else?

Also, check out this test of whether you are fit to be an immigrant to Canada, courtesy of a UK website. I scored a 98. If you're a Canadian, try taking it assuming you have no family in Canada and no firm job offer.

I wonder how many Canadians by birth would qualify for citizenship if they were put through the same rigorous selection process that we immigrants are. And how many would then pass the basic knowledge test? Few, I would warrant.

The bottom line is that Canada selects the cream of the crop from foreign countries... then promptly deposits them in taxicabs or factories where their creaminess is all but unnoticeable.

I leave you with this, 'cause it makes me giggle:

We Don't Need No Euduction

You're probably all aware of the news bit wherein Hillary Clinton's campaign supposedly leaked a photo of Barack Obama in traditional Sudanese "Muslim" attire. Here's the photo in question:


Interesting topic, no? On the one hand, shame on Clinton for trying to play the fear and race card by reminding a xenophobic America of Obama's Muslim and --Zod forbid!-- foreign roots. It really is an unforgivable tactic for a Democrat. On the other hand, the Obama campaign should suck it up and recognize that the photo is not fake, Obama does have Muslim roots, and that this will be a factor in the general election, especially once the muck-raking, mouth-breathing Republican spin machine gets rolling at full tilt.

Obama's strength thus far is that he has somehow managed to be perceived as the dude who "rises above it all". But his crash point may soon be coming, if his campaign's reaction is any indication. It's only a matter of time before America figures out that Obama, as likable and as inspirational a figure as he is, really is light on content. Republicans can get away with vapidness (see one George W. Bush), but Democrats are required to bring the wonkish intellectual thunder.

As an interesting aside, Obama's headquarter's vehicles have been vandalized with the word "racist" spray painted across them. I'm not sure why someone would call Obama a racist, but the best part is that they misspelled "racist":


The illiteracy disease seems to be spreading. In the linked article itself, reporters couldn't figure out if a dude's name was spelled "Towles" or "Towels".

Reminds me of back in grade 7, back when Pink Floyd's "The Wall" was in heavy rotation. At my school --which was no Algonquin Roundtable-- someone had spray painted on a portable wall: "We don't need no euduction" (sic). Oh, really?

Similarly, I found this from the Fark.com forums:

Affleck! AFFLECK!

You know, the phrase "Ben Affleck, movie star" has never sat well with me. I mean, all the guy does is point and shout. Look for it: he points and shouts. I can do that. But I'm not going to hold it against him anymore, now that's he found true love. Courtesy of Salina A., here's Jimmy Kimmel's "I'm f@cking Ben Affleck". Count the stars:



Meanwhile, Dawn L. finally answers for us the pithy question, "What's wrong with America?" The answer is obvious: pastors are peeing sitting down. This is for real:



Meanwhile, The Other Ray sends us 20 things we didn't know about relativity. Well, maybe you didn't know, but come on! Who didn't already know that Friedrich Hasenöhrl was the first to write E = mc² ?

My brother points us toward an organization called The Copernicus Group, whose membership includes educated University employees. What's the group's mandate? Apparently it's to slip Creationism into the public discourse under the guise of science. Shame on them for misusing the name of Copernicus, a man who did much to wipe away generations of religious mysticism and usher in the enlightened age of science.

My favourite part of their website is the so-called "Bias flag", which states:

"The rigor of a scientific theory is proportional the degree of ad hominem attacks on any person who attempts to rebut the theory. Rigorous science should welcome rebuttals, not attempt to discourage them, as they are a legitimate and indeed integral part of scientific inquiry."

I offer no ad hominem attacks on those who subscribe to the theory that their imaginary friend made the world and all life in it. I have my own personal spiritual beliefs that others may find ridiculous. But the statement above is a typical misreading of classical science. Science is about the parsing of evidence according to a maxim of demonstrability. If you can demonstrate that a theory is sufficiently flawed to deny its plausibility, have at it. But if your counterargument consists of, "you're wrong 'cause my pastor said so", then Copernicus is turning in his grave. Except he's not turning in his grave, because that's scientifically impossible.

Here is yet another article denying the role of nuclear energy in combating civilization's addiction to fossil fuels. The article makes the bold claim that all of an industrialized nation's energy needs can be supplied via renewable sources, mostly wind power. As tackled previously in this blog, wind energy is not free energy. To create a sufficient number of wind generators to supply a substantial portion of our nation's energy needs would mean taking up a substantial portion of real estate that is currently ecologically pristine; it would create noise pollution and be a hazard to birds. But more importantly, a large enough number of turbines would sap sufficient energy from the air to alter local weather patterns, perhaps deleteriously. Add to that the fact that wind does not provide a steady source of energy, and it becomes clear that an industrial society requires a source with tremendous steady output . Until fusion or large scale solar are improved, nuclear is our best short term bet.

Lastly, I leave you today with a review in the Epoch Times of a recent book reading in which I was a part. It's a very weird feeling to be quoted in the Epoch Times.

Hand Vagina

Check out this video from CollegeHumor.com. Yes, it's safe for work. Mostly. It's called "Hand Vagina".

In other news, a white dude is the direct descendant of the last Sikh monarch. What the...?

According to India Daily, there's a galaxy that is clearly artificially made. Conclusion: India Daily is a piece of crap newspaper.

Lastly, do remember that the Daily Perv Link (TM) is no more. It is kaput. That is why under no circumstances should you click here.

Right Wing Canadian Bloggers

Occasionally I find the strength to take a peek at a few stinky right wing blogs, among them that cesspool of supposed "conservative" thought in Canada, the Western Standard blogs. Here are some random snippets of utter stupidity that I didn't even have to dig for:

1. "Environmentalism is a movement started by and supported by the Soviet Union and is a Communist vehicle to hobble the industry of the Free West to prevent technological advance and keep us from arming ourselves to defend against the aggressive spread of World Communism."


2. "Women, fags and the Islamic lobby are running the show in this country. However, once the Islamics get control the women will be in the kitchen and the fags will be in the closet or dead."


3. "Who do they honour?? A lesbian. Why do they honour her?? For her contribution to making same sex marriage Canadian reality. What is the conclusion of all of it?? Sexual deviants are running Family Courts in Ontario."

I can't make this shit up.

Another weird thing about right wing blogs in Canada is their non-stop virtual fellatio of the United States. Take Catherine McMillan (please, take her). For some reason she goes by "Kate Werk" and is the Canada-based blogger who runs Small Dead Animals, one of the more commonly cited right wing blogs. For the life of me, I can't figure out why Ms. "Werk" has a US flag on the front of her blog, but no mention of Canada. I mean, if you want to ally yourself to a certain nation, that's fine. But then why is the content of your blog the politics of Canada, when all you seem to care about is the USA? Weird.

The "Right On Blog", which advertises its content as "Right wing ramblings from Toronto, Ontario, Canada", has for some reason a batch of interspersing US and Canadian flags in the top right. I don't get it, I really don't.

Adam Yoshida is a particularly idiotic scion of the Canadian Right. We've discussed him here before. He's a Canadian citizen based in Vancouver, Canada, and vocal, frequently published commenter on Canadian politics. Yet his official website photo depicts him posing in front of the US flag.... again, with no Canadian iconography to be seen anywhere.

Again, I just don't get it. If you'd prefer to live in the USA, that's fine. Go there. Go. Now. And leave us be. But if you are Canadian citizens, living in Canada, voting in Canadian elections and commenting daily on Canadian matters on blogs hosted in Canada, don't you think it's interesting that you choose to advertise your allegiance to a foreign power? I find it very odd, and frankly it reminds me of idiot Communist youth of old wearing the insignia of the Chinese and Soviet governments while eschewing those of their own nation; and also of the fascist American youth of the 30s who used their love of Nazi Germany as the platform from which to criticize American liberalism.

In more frivolous news, my favouritest show from last season was Jericho. The story of Jericho is a cool one: the show was cancelled after one season, despite it's high critical acclaim, yet a dramatic fan campaign convinced the network to revive the show for seven episodes. We are 3 episodes into the miraculous second mini-season. I'm afraid the show probably won't be renewed for a third season. So go enjoy it now. It's billed as science fiction, but it's more of a small-scale political intrigue. Nothing fantastical happens; the drama is about how normal people cope in a truly extraordinary situation, while a political mystery percolates about them.

In a similar frivolous vain, I found the funniest South Park episode of all time: "Make Love, Not Warcraft."

Meanwhile, my latest MicroSoft column is up.


In more sad and serious news...

We are sad to report the passing of the father of Deonandia regular, E.K. Hornbeck. We're thinking of you, buddy.

Mooo. Ow! Mooo.

Remember this post? In it, I linked to a video that's getting all sorts of attention. It's created a sensation of a fake Indian character named "Benny Lava." Well, for the curious, this is the real Benny Lava. His name is Prabhu Deva, and I know of at least one Tamil cinema and Prabhu Deva fan who doesn't find the whole Benny Lava thing funny. Well, too bad. It's damn funny.

And speaking of funny things, everyone has been sending me to a site called "Stuff White People Like." It's funny. One of the standout posts is the one about Japan. It's all quite reminiscent of the infamous "Black People Love Us" site of yore.

And speaking of irreverent humour, I've spent the past few days watching non-stop South Park episodes. You can watch 'em all, free and legal, in the South Park Zone.

Meanwhile, remember that Black professor at Columbia who made headlines because someone had hung a noose in front of her office? New revelations out today that she was found guilty by the administration of academic plagiarism.

Besides the issue with the noose, which I hope is still being investigated, there's an element of this story that pisses me off: this woman still has her job. And we wonder why the academic standards of University students in North America have been rapidly slipping these past few years? It begins at the top, with the tolerance of crappy professors who literally get away with the gravest of academic sins. That this can happen at a supposedly top institute like Columbia does not bode well for supposedly lesser centres of learning like, oh I dunno, a certain place where I teach. This does not fill me with joy.

In other news, an idiot PETA activist, Rachel Feather, has renamed herself Rachel FishingHurts to advertise the, um, plight of fish. You know, I'm all for the protection of animal rights. But it makes it difficult to be vocal about my beliefs when they're shared by idiots like Rachel FishingHurts. My slow voyage to the realm of vegetarianism is inspired by the practice of factory farming, which I find quite intolerable. SP sends us this video of the ill treatment and torture of cows in American slaughterhouses.

And again, to clean our eyes and screens, check out the following photo of Barack Obama. Love him or hate him, there's no denying the man looks damn good in a cowboy hat:

Daily Perv Pic

Here ya go. Stolen, of course, from Fark.com:


And for my fellow wrestling fans, I give you this:


And further to my earlier posts about growing old and muscle mass, check out this very sad photo of the aging Arnold Schwarzeneggar:


Droogies, tonight is the last full lunar eclipse the northern hemisphere will see until Dec 2010. So stay up late and watch the cosmic juju!

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na ...Mothman!

From Fark.com. Now I remember why I used to read Archie Comics:


First up: USA Today reports that dozens of large US cities have no soldiers who have died in Iraq. The paper concludes that it's because the US army tends to recruit from poor areas with limited economic opportunities. Cities, as hotbeds of opportunity, are not rich recruiting grounds.

Sure, that makes sense. It's probably the case. But I link to the story not to stand on my soapbox and decry the military's predation on poor kids. Rather, I wish to point out an epidemiologic error. Just because cities disproportionately have fewer (or zero) fatalities in Iraq, it does not necessarily follow that cities provide proportionately fewer soldiers. The data presented in the article lend themselves to many interpretations, among them that city folk are somehow more skilled at not getting killed.

Yes, it is much more likely that in fact US soldiers disproportionately arise from smaller communities. My point is that, once again, a newspaper has erroneously put forward a scientific analysis. That they probably put forward the correct analysis by accident is beside the point.

Some Frivolity

Last night I scared myself shitless watching The Mothman Prophecies. This is the sort of movie that really creeps under my skin: no psycho killers or monsters jumping from behind trees, or torrents of blood or gore, just some masterful psychological and paranormal terror.

It helps that it's based on true events that took place in Point Pleasant, West Virginia, in 1968. I've been reading up on the Mothman phenomenon since watching the movie, and have somehow conflated it with sleep paralysis, another uberweird phenomenon that I have some personal experience with. Conclusion: the world is a weird, wonderful and sometimes terrifying place.

Also in entertainment news, I was giggled to see in the most recent episode of Stargate: Atlantis that the international crew manning the station in the Pegasus galaxy actually uses Canadian currency!

HGH and GHG

First, The News

Further to yesterday's post about the plague of eye-burning "Guidos" that now infests the American Northeast, Lady G from Paris (yes, Paris; see how international this blog is?) sends us a very useful tool: a virtual screen cleaner. It works!

Courtesy of Rondi, we have this fantastic European geography game from Lufthansa. My score was a piddling 20,485. Hey, I never claimed to know a whole lot about Europe, even though I'll be there in 3 weeks. Add your score to the comments section below.



Meanwhile, from Cousin Ajay comes this gripping dance video that I can watch over and over and over again....



For those of you looking to rent an apartment in Toronto, my good friend PB and her husband are offering up one in their home. The listing is here.

From EK Hornbeck comes this news of Iran having successfully launched a rocket into space. When it launches a real satellite, Iran will join China and India as "developing world" Asian space powers. Heck, the Americans may have got there first, but I predict that in 4 generations, the Moon itself will be an Asian colony. Mmmmm, sometimes it's good to be Brown. Of course, the more immediate strategic concern is the same one the West had when China and India tested their space machines: nuclear ICBMs.

HGH

There has been some chatter on the Interwebs about Sylvester Stallone's bizarre looking veiny arms. I don't know for sure, but I suspect they are the byproduct of a pharmaceutically enhanced workout regime. Further to this observation is Stallone's recent charge in an Australian court of importation of HGH (human growth hormone) and testosterone.

Now, I'm not one to defend celebrities. But, medically supervised and when not applied for the purposes of cheating in an athletic contest, I have no problem with people over 50 using these drugs. Look at Stallone in the pics above. Yes, hie veins are gross, but the rest of him is pretty well preserved, considering the man is 61. This is the result of a healthy lifestyle combined with good genes and a little pharmacological assistance.

HGH use among aging celebrities is all the rage. This is because the stuff actually slows down, and in some cases reverses, the aging process... when used in moderation. Some animal studies suggest it may shorten lifespan and cause various cancers, so medical supervision is needed.
But HGH is secreted by our bodies naturally when we sleep, usually between the hours of 10pm and 2:AM (hence the need for deep sleep in the wee hours); it helps repair tissue and reverse damage done by stress and environmental sources. A pharmaceutical augmentation is meant to
bolster endogenous HGH to its pre-old age levels, but not beyond those levels.

Similarly, pretty much every anti-aging exercise or nutritional strategy successfully employed by middle aged men has to do with increasing endogenous testosterone production. The maintenance of a high lean muscle to fat ratio, the employment of high intensity sprint-like interval exercises, and the imbibing of foods high in select amino acids and essential fatty acids reduces our natural decline in testosterone production. We need the stuff to retain sexual potency, physical deftness, mental acuity and a degree of aggression and competitiveness. Testosterone augmentation in later years --under medical supervision and to the levels enjoyed in earlier years, not beyond-- has been shown to measurably improve older men's quality of life. The major downside is the increased risk for prostate cancer.

Long story short: until dramatic new research comes about to show a strong link to deleterious outcomes, when I turn 50 I'll be talking to my doctor about hormonal augmentation. Yes, I'm that vain.

GHG

There's the scent of a federal election in the air. Can you smell it? Question: what will be the issue that defines Canada this season? Traditionally, it's always been the economy or something related to job production, etc. There's a sense among the rank and file that foreign policy will be the topic du jour, i.e. our involvement in foreign wars.

But no, this time the issue that will determine Canada's next government is the environment. "GHG" stands for "green house gases". I wonder if my prediction 8 years ago of Al Gore ascending to power this year was a few kilometres off? Maybe Al should resettle in Canada and take over one of our national parties. I think he'd make a great Prime Minister.


Other

Today's last post is about a school in India. Deonandia regular KH is currently touring India and wrote this morning about the Bhawani Anantaraman Memorial Foundation, which is a school run by a Indo-Canadian who lost his family in the Air India disaster. He has since dedicated his life, and the memory of his children, to helping scores of underprivileged children to receive a proper education in a loving and supportive family environment. I've known of the foundation for some time, but until now have never taken the time to contribute. With KH's eyewitness testament to the school's impressive good works, I will now make a donation to them. For those of you interested in doing the same, please follow this link.

Guidos To The Left Of Me....

I have a lot of really stupid stuff for you today. We begin with my new computer desktop wallpaper. It makes me giggle:


Let's move now to discussion of an anthropological subspecies of H. sapiens sapiens, called the "guido". Now, I only learned of the guido today, so call me slow. But a little bit of investigation leaves me utterly flabbergasted, and more than a little concerned for the youth of today. Here's a photo of a set of "guidos" from Supernegro.com:


So what is a guido? There is an excellent description of this class of human being by CajunBoy, called "Guido: Anthropological Enigma of the 21st Century."

Since the guido apparently is known to frequently abuse both feminine cosmetic products and anabolic steroids (interesting combination, no?) they are sometimes considered a subset of "juiceheads". A description of typical guido/juicehead behaviour can be found here.

Most interesting to me is the bizarre carrot-tinted complexion oft sought by the hardcore guido. Check out some of these pics, all taken from the Fark.com forums:



And what's up with the pouty girly faces and manicured eyebrows? Either these fellows/clones are brilliant societal satirists, or they are possibly borderline retarded. I leave it to you, gentle reader, to decide:


The prime online source of information for all things guido is GuidoFistPump.com (turn down your speakers, 'cause there's a Youtube clip set to "on"). Of particular import is their "guido of the week" feature. Go. Look. Now.

A final point about guidos. I think they may have a taxonomical relationship with another anthropological subspecies, "douchebags". Check out HotChicksWith Douchebags.com to see what I mean.

And since we all need to wash our eyes now, here's a pic of a young Barack Obama with all his politically correct, multiracial classmates. Looks like the cast of an after school special, doesn't it?

Happy VD Day

I actually wonder if infections of VD actually spike on Valentine's Day. Hmmm.

Stolen from user NICU8697 on Fark.com, the various stages of love and courtship, as told from a lion's perspective, and dedicated to my old buddy LK:

Stage 1: SINGLE


Stage 2: MARRIED


Stage 3: DIVORCED

Toilets of Man

Beijing 2008

From Good Ol' Nojjy Boy, evidence that China is not yet ready to host the Olympics:


The Average Indigenous Australian

We begin today with a news item from Australia, sent us from Amphibious: "Portrait of the average indigenous Australian", by Chris Graham. The interesting bit is that there are definite similarities between the plight of Australian Aborigines and Canadian First Peoples. Given the genetic dissimilarity between the two groups, this speaks more about the nature of conquest, marginalization and colonialism. If you decapitate a society, strip from it is traditional strengths, its hierarchy, its strongest leaders, kill the flower of its youth, then push its members onto the most decrepit of lands, following up with generations of economic suppression, social stigma and a litany of dishonoured treaties, the result is universal: a beaten, disadvantaged people.

Canadian Aboriginals are bouncing back, though, and are among the fastest growing ethnic group in this country. I know that a handful of my students read this blog regularly, so to them I announce that on March 31st, we will have a special guest lecturer on Aboriginal health. For anyone else residing in the Ottawa area, you are more than welcome to attend.

In Other News...

Hispanic parents in Chicago are protesting that a state achievement test is only being offered in English, and not in Spanish. Naturally, this has riled up the domestic set who are claiming that it is incumbent upon the "immigrants" to learn the "American" language. Now, in many ways I am inclined to agree. However, I think it needs pointing out that, unlike Canada, the USA has no official language. In absence of that fairly important legal statement, the Hispanics have every right, ethically and legally, to demand service in their preferred language.

Well, the Daily Perv Link (TM) of late has expanded to include instances of human intimacies with, um, inanimate objects. Latest in this theme is this story of a man with a nail up his, um, penis. Yes, penis.

Meanwhile, the other Ray sends us this video of a shrimp armed with a sonic weapon. Yes, a shrimp armed with a sonic weapon.

Let's close with further proof of China's lack of readiness:

It's... Beautiful

Apropos of nothing...


Some annoucements:

My old short story, "A Memory of Flowers and Coconut", will appear in a new anthology of Pan-American fiction published out of Brazil, due out in early 2009.

A newer story, "Midnight Shift", will appear in the anthology, Toronto Noir, which is due out later this year. The book is edited by the sister of a Deonandia regular, and features yet another creative misspelling of my name.

For the second year in a row, I am a judge in the Katha Indian-American Fiction Contest, run by India Currents magazine. For those of you interested in submitting, the deadline is March 28. Don't worry if you know me; the names are removed from the submissions, so I will be judging anonymously.

In other news:

The UK is compelling its athletes to sign a gag order before competing in the Beijing Olympics. If true, this is intolerable. No one, especially not a citizen of a supposed liberal democracy, should be compelled to hold his tongue if he has strong opinions on political matters. And for the record, count me among those who would like to see the Beijing Olympics turned into a political arena, an instrument for shining some shame upon China for its vetoing of military action in Darfur.

Seriously, What The Hell

My regular daily peruse of Fark.com revealed this story, about a new trend in Britain: attacking firefighters while they try to put out fires. Britain, Britain, Britain.... What the fuck?

In other news, scientists may have found evidence for a theory describing the evolutionary role of gayness. Read about it here.

The Brown Jude Law

So I was doing a book reading earlier this week, as part of International Development Week. As I was on my way out, a woman says to me, "You look like someone..."

I know where she's going with this, so I cut her off. "Yeah, a young Tony Curtis." It's true. I do look like a young Tony Curtis, with a dash of Johnny Mathis, and maybe a little Audrey Tautou. (Yes, I know she's a chick. Grow up.)

But no. She continued: "No, no... who's that guy? Yeah. Jude Law. You're a brown Jude Law."

Now, as we all know by now, I have a fairly high opinion of myself. But even I know better than to liken myself to one of the handsomest men in the world. Literary fans are few and far between. Why must mine have such poor eyesight?

For science's sake, let's compare our mugs. First, here's Jude:


And here's me in all my squinty finery:



This woman is clearly delusional. I'm much better looking than Jude Law.

For the sake of scholarly completeness, here are Tony Curtis, Johnny Mathis and Audrey Tautou:






Despite this woman's error, it was suggested to me that I should milk this unfortunate conflation, by perhaps wearing a T-shirt that says, "Brown Jude Law." Of course, there are those who would wish to abbreviate such a statement, and I'm not about to be caught on the street wearing the words, "B.J. Law." In my belief system, the state has no business in the bedrooms of the nation.

And because I love you all, I leave you with this priceless video, which the world has come to call "Benny Lava":

Of Babes And Poles

Pervy Stuff

Today we pay tribute to the internet meme. It's always amazed me how quickly an idea or piece of content can rocket across to millions of computers around the world, yet still remain unknown to the so-called "mainstream". One of my first experiences with this phenomenon was internet wrestling columnist Chris Hyatte, whom I blogged about here. Hyatte was an enormous star, read daily by hundreds of thousands of pro wrestling dorks like me, but chances are that none of you have heard of him.

More recently, there was the "lol cats" phenomenon, which I alluded to here. It's still going strong, and is so sticky that it makes its way into unrelated content, such as Nasty Nicky B's instructive graph on poor statistics.

Of course, being the big perv that I am, my favourite current meme celebrity is American pole vaulter Allison Stokkes, who was vaulted (heh heh) into internet celebrity with the publication of photos of her doing her thing, i.e. competing in a pole vaulting match. Here are some photos of the exquisite Miss Stokkes:



This became an issue because she was all of 18 when these photos were taken, and her parents were quite peeved that an army of fan boys were pleasuring themselves to their daughter's fine genes.

Now, 18 is an adult. At 18 in most places, you can vote, drive, drink, marry, have kids, be drafted into war where you can kill legally, be drafted into war where you can be killed legally, and be tried and executed by a court of law if you were to kill illegally. Surely, you're also old enough to be perceived as a sexual being.

I certainly see the Stokkes' point; I imagine no parent wants to perceive their child as a sex symbol. But folks, when you look that good, it's gonna happen. Milk it while you can and maybe Allison's good looks will put her through college.

Insert your own obvious "pole" jokes as needed.

She does kinda look like Amy Jo Johnson, the Pink Power Ranger, doesn't she?

Bottom line: Allison Stokkes is the current meme queen. Next month we'll be on to something else. Maybe talking spiders.

International Development Week

The week is nearly over and so far I'm pleased to say it's been a tremendous success. Our two big speakers --Irwin Cotler and Stephen Lewis-- really packed 'em in. Lewis, in particular, is always an inspiring person, and I defy anyone to have found a dry eye in the house.

But one thing bugged me about both presentations. The issue of the genocide in Darfur was a big topic for both men, yet neither dwelled on the factor that complicates that crisis: oil. Oil is the reason governments care more about Darfur than about Rwanda and East Timor, et al. Oil is the reason China vetoes UN military action against les genocidaires. Like so many of the world's problems, this one is based on a global thirst for the black stuff; thus, solutions must be systemic and global and economic, not just local and military.

More on this later.

When She Sits Around The House...

Not quite a Daily Perv Link (TM), but interesting nonetheless: firefighter gives mouth-to-mouth to a dog. Still no report on whether he used tongue.

Also in a DPL vibe is this story about a teacher almost being fired for encouraging his students to analyse the characteristics of online porn. Just remember why we had the Daily Perv Link (TM) in the first place: to explore the question of whether certain practices are really on the upswing, or whether it's a case of reporting (or detection) bias. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Because everyone loves this shit, here's a list of Star Wars toys that look like famous people. Best one: Christian Bale as Princess Leia.

And so it begins: a university student is compelled to resign from student government after promoting the meme that Barack Obama is actually a Muslim reactionary trying to infiltrate the White House. Eric Margolis has already written about this despicable trend from the American far Right: they can't attack the man's character, policies, beliefs or record, so they smear him with a ridiculous bit of extreme fiction. All it may take is a couple of in-bred retards to believe this, and it may swing the balance against Obama.

Obesity

One of my students sent me this article about a Dutch study that concluded that the financial costs to the public health system due to obesity are far less than those due to skinny people who live longer. In essence, the argument goes, fat people cost more between the ages of 20 and 56, but since they tend to die early, they don't have the same impact on the system as do skinny people who live well into their 70s and 80s. The same comparison was made for smokers, who have the same limited impact as do fat folk.

I have not seen the original paper, but a few thoughts come to mind:

1. Presumably this study is for the Dutch case, so may not be applicable to Canadian or American models. In Canada, cigarettes and other unhealthy items, such as alcohol, are heavily taxed. This is done both to discourage their consumption (ironic, since Canada grows tobacco and manufactures booze) and to help offset the cost of these items' deleterious effects. When these taxes are factored out of the picture, the cost of fatness and smoking would be severely exacerbated.

2. As the authors admit, this analysis only considers immediate and direct costs to the public health system. Early deaths of smokers and the portly set mean lost economic productivity, in terms of lost life-years, which translates to a lesser tax base and smaller public health budget.

3. Similar to point #2, no disability costs have been factored in, with respect to lost productivity. I think this is a big one. Smokers and members of the rotund brigade tend to have more sick days, work less during their healthy days, and are limited in the kinds of work they can do. This lost productivity negatively affects total economic health, which has a deleterious impact on public health funding.

4. Accommodation costs to employers, etc, with regard to creating smoking areas, wider seats for larger asses, and so forth, are borne by immediate party, but are eventually downloaded, in the form of tax deductions, to the public purse. These numbers will not have been accounted for in the Dutch analysis, but need to be considered if the end product of such analyses is public policy around discouragement of fatness and tokerage.

5. It's a no-brainer that extremely old people cost the public health system more than any other group. That doesn't mean that we want to discourage people from getting older! Quite the contrary, we want to encourage them to age healthfully! The way to save public health money is to discourage smoking and obesity, and to encourage extremely healthy practices in middle age. That way, the fatties and human chimneys don't snuff it too early, and instead enter their golden years upright and with strong hearts.

Must... Save... Porn!

The following photo is stolen from Fark.com. It's for Cousin Ajay. He'll understand:


Well, my Stone Roses obsession continues unabated. Hey, to many of us, they came this close to being the second coming of the Beatles. If you're curious, below are links to a documentary about the band's rise and demise. It's a low quality, sensationalist documentary, but worth the time, if only to see both the pile of crap that Shaun Ryder has devolved into, and the hilarious working man persona so transparently put on by Noel Gallagher.

Part 1 of 6
Part 2 of 6
Part 3 of 6
Part 4 of 6
Part 5 of 6
Part 6 of 6

Now, three of my favourite things are the Stone Roses, the Sex Pistols and the martial arts. So imagine how pleased I was to find this video, by ex-Roses singer Ian Brown, with backing from some of the Sex Pistols, and featuring some impressive kung fu:



And since I'm on a Youtube binge, I will leave you with the following classic from India:

Black Focused Schools

Weirdness

It's a weird time. Well, weirder than usual. Let's list the weirdness:

Darth Vadum sends us this weird clip of everyone's least favourite Nazi transsexual, Ann Coulter, backing Hilary Clinton over Republican John McCain! What do you think? Mental illness? Flip-flop hypocrisy disease? Or just hype to sell a new book? Our resident Dark Lord (not Lord Wat; he's all pie, hearth and goodness) suggests that the Coulter-bot is just trying to drum up Republican opposition to McCain, so that Romney wins the nomination.

The future is now. The US Navy will soon test fire an honest-to-Jebus rail gun. We've discussed rail guns and mass drivers before in this space. This is the future of all projectiles: weapons and transport systems alike. "We" can now fire at a target 200 miles away, with a projectile travelling at Mach 7. I don't get it. Weren't the silent, remote-operated drones enough? Or the unstoppable smart bombs? The cruise missiles? Are these people just bored?

Here in Southern Ontario we are in the grips of a nasty snow storm. I'm one of those freaks who rides his bike in the winter. So it was a little jolting to have to push my bike on the sidewalk, blinded by the wailing snows, only to collide with yet another freakish winter cyclist pushing his bike in the other direction! What did he say to me? "Howdy!" Freak.

Cousin Ajay lets us know about this TV show about a dude's quest for various martial arts around the world. If I were 10 years younger, I'd let this show inspire my training, as I had once taken a similar journey about 15 years ago. As an old man with a broken back and a strong need for fibre, I now find this show depressing.

My latest op-ed column, on "the politicization of science", has been accepted by India Currents Magazine and will appear in their March issue. I'll remind you again when it comes out, because I am, after all, an attention whore.

Don't forget about International Development Week in Ottawa next week. Sad news: one of our big draws, Michael Ignatieff, has dropped out. Insert obligatory "Iggy and the Stooges" joke here.

Black Focused Schools

The big Toronto news is that the Board of Education has approved the creation of so-called "Black focused schools", which have the overall goal of keeping Black kids in school longer. Like many of you, I have some strong reservations about this new bit of weirdness. Yes, it has shades of segregation about it. But technically, it's not segregation because Black kids aren't forced to attend these schools, and non-Black kids aren't prevented from attending them. They'll just focus, presumably, on matters pertinent to Black youth, thus encouraging them to engage more in their education. Those who don't like it are free to attend regular schools.

We need to remember that Toronto has tried this before, with an Aboriginal school whose goal was the same, to prevent Aboriginal kids from dropping out. That school is considered to be one of "the worst in the system" and has not resulted in noticeable drop-out rate changes. I don't fully understand why it's still around then. It sucks tax money and serves its charges poorly. Instead of a sole Aboriginal school, there should be Aboriginal programmes in all schools. The same approach should be made for any group that is struggling.

Want to read the bland academic pap that's been put forward to support the new policy of Black-focused schools? Read it here. Unsurprisingly, it comes from OISE, a place from which I actually have a degree. I write of it in a disparaging tone because my year there was fraught with hair-pulling: me pulling out my own hair in frustration. I was stunned by the strength and verve of assertions being made that were completely devoid of evidence! I was further stunned by the rapidity with which such evidence-free theory was adopted as official government educational policy.

If Black kids are dropping out in unacceptable rates, then the causes are factors within both greater society and within the so-called Black community. If we are serious about righting the problem, then real research, conducted by real scientists, needs to be done to best identify those causes, without a care for the political implications of such identification. Solutions must then address those causes directly.

In absence of such data and understanding, a "Black-focused" school will accomplish very little except exacerbate racial tensions and increase the demand for more culture-specific schools. When it fails, it will also be cited by racists as yet further "proof" that Blacks are "stupid". Remind me again why we were so opposed to Muslim schools in Ontario? Why is the logic any different?

Drop-out rates for any demographic are due to social and economic factors that are exterior to the schools themselves. Perhaps a refined curriculum and a new mindset within a school can effect some small amount of influence. But it's pointless to seek such a measure without simultaneously addressing wider socioeconomic factors. Ultimately, it is my opinion that Black-focused schools will do more harm than good; I'd like to see what the OISE double-speak machine will have to say when the indicators don't come out favourably in 5 years.

I fully expect some angry emails over this post. But as one who has taught in Toronto public schools, and is now an educator at the University level, I have seen how shoddy government policy, based on even shoddier and soft pseudo-science, has played a prime role in under-serving the educational needs of an entire generation of Ontarians. This measure is ill-advised and is being pushed forward simply to placate a vocal constituent. At a time when resources are most finite, this is not the most efficient or effective way to serve all our childrens' educational needs.

Sermon over.

(Stolen from Fark.com, so don't blame me.)