Daily Twitter

Yes I know these daily automated posts are getting annoying. I'm looking for a way to make them weekly instead of daily. Anyone know of a (free) service?

• 08:00 : Twitter haiku #53 - "Marking an essay / This one is just plain average / Am I being 'mean'?" #
• 10:38 @geekgirly you bought a place? Really? #
• 20:55 : just finished watching "The Fountain". Highly recommended, if you're not a dumb ass. #
• 21:49 : Twitter haiku #54 - "Looking at condo / If overpriced, I will pay / Condo-minimum" #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter Follow my tweets at twitter.com/deonandan.

Daily Twitter

Yes I know these daily automated posts are getting annoying. I'm looking for a way to make them weekly instead of daily. Anyone know of a (free) service?

• 10:09 : Twitter haiku #52 - "Undergrad students / Buying me tequila shots / Tenure slips away?" #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter Follow my tweets at twitter.com/deonandan.

Busty Babes and Cruel Aristocrats

“I‘m going to put people in my place so when the history of this administration is written, at least there's an authoritarian voice saying exactly what happened.” - George W. Bush, re: his upcoming book. (Emphasis mine.)

News from England is that a Parliamentary bill is being introduced to police erotic content in animated materials. The new law would make it illegal to possess cartoons depicting certain elements of child abuse. Artists are naturally concerned.

I'm on record as being opposed to this sort of misguided use of police powers. I've oft argued that the possession of images depicting actual abuse should not be criminalized, since the possessor was not the one committing the abuse; such policing actions are tantamount to thought control, which should concern everyone, especially given our recent experiences with the heavy-handed moralizing Bush regime. My solution has been to instead recognize that such possession is instead indicative of a degree of mental illness, and to compel psychiatric interventions rather than criminal ones. If our intent really is protection of the vulnerable, and not just punishment of the distasteful, then I believe my path is the rational one.

The counter argument has typically been an economic one, that possession of images of abuse creates a market for them, compelling true abusers to produce more content, necessarily involving actual abuse of the vulnerable. I do not think that the evidence for this argument is strong enough to support it; but it is nonetheless a rational argument.

The argument in favour of this new bill is, however, even more tenuous: that possession of animated images of abuse feeds a culture of permissiveness that may compel actual abuse. The evidence for such a linkage is even more tenuous than that that seeks to link actual pornography with real abuse. I cannot help but conclude that the true motivation underlying the new bill is in fact moralistic and not rationalistic. In essence, Pariliament seeks to express its disapproval for the aesthetic tastes of possessors of such animation, rather than seeking to reduce instances of actual child abuse.

As Bill Maher would say, government has no business legislating taste.

It's a shame that I must add the following caveat, but experience compels me to do so... For those who will predictably accuse me of defending child abusers and pornographers, I say: "Grow the fuck up." I'm advocating for the movement of the prevention of paedophilic tendencies into the domain of health management rather than criminal management, nothing more.

I'm further advocating for a clear line to be drawn between what the state is free to police and into what it has no business even peeping, specifically the dark corridors of one's thoughts. For when that line becomes blurred, all it takes is a power hungry and moralizing adminstration (*cough* *cough* Bush/Ashcroft/Cheney *cough*) to start poking around for more politicized content, like one's Libertarian beliefs, sexual orientations, political allegiances and ethnic affiliations.

It starts with the state criminalizing possession of animations of abuse. It evolves with the state criminalizing possession of novels about insurrection, poems about free thought, images of rebellion. It's a slope that's more than slippery: it's pretty much vertical and greased.

Speaking of erotic animations, Andrew R. pointed me to a recent article in The Globe and Mail, which discussed recently discovered drawings by Superman co-creator Joel Shuster. Apparently, Shuster had a double identity of his own: he used to draw comic books about "an imagined netherworld of corporal punishment, busty babes and cruel aristocrats." Neat, huh?

Here are some of the images published from The Globe and Mail, taken from Shuster's defunct title, Nights of Horror.





I think I used to date the chick in the bed.

In Other News:

In ongoing quest to die from overeating, I give you this monstrosity, the bonecrusher.

And lastly, here's a list of 20 ridiculous complaints made by holidaymakers. My favourite:

"The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?"

And on the same note, here's a famous letter sent by a disgruntled Virgin Airlines passenger to Sir Richard Branson.

Daily Twitter

Yes I know these daily automated posts are getting annoying. I'm looking for a way to make them weekly instead of daily. Anyone know of a (free) service?

• 08:50 : Twitter haiku #51 - "Unethical life / Constipation of the soul / Need moral fibre." #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter Follow my tweets at twitter.com/deonandan.

Daily Twitter

Yes I know these daily automated posts are getting annoying. I'm looking for a way to make them weekly instead of daily. Anyone know of a (free) service?

• 08:04 : Twitter haiku #50 - "Injured in Taiwan / Needed a blood transfusion / Got some Taipei blood" #
• 08:25 @lorirobinson awww thanks. #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter Follow my tweets at twitter.com/deonandan.

Daily Twitter

Yes I know these daily automated posts are getting annoying. I'm looking for a way to make them weekly instead of daily. Anyone know of a (free) service?

• 13:16 : Twitter haiku #48 - "Professors meeting / Seems like it will never end / My faculties dulled." #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter Follow my tweets at twitter.com/deonandan.

Daily Twitter

Yes I know these daily automated posts are getting annoying. I'm looking for a way to make them weekly instead of daily. Anyone know of a (free) service?

• 09:54 : Twitter haiku #47 - "Bank crisis bail-out. / Credit sticks, bonuses paid. / Conflict of interest." #
• 22:32 : Twitter haiku #48 - "Soldiers trudge on foot / No artillery support / It's a tankless job" #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter Follow my tweets at twitter.com/deonandan.

Why We go To Mars

Why does anyone care what this doofus thinks?
Hmm. Just ate a mountain of chilli and am dizzy from the meat. Or I'm dizzy from a sinus infection. I don't know. In either case, I'm dizzy. So if I don't make any sense today, blame the dizziness.

I also just finished watching a year old episode of Real Time With Bill Maher, in which Ashton Kutcher went on a tirade about, "Why are we sending stuff to Mars when we have child slavery right here on Earth?!" Yes, he said those words, or something close to them. I don't remember exactly.

Now, I see young Mr. Kutcher's point. Our spending priorities have often been in discord with our spending needs. As a metaphor, his rant is well taken. But I actually think he was serious about dumping on the whole Mars thing, and on America's space program in general.

Kutcher was once a student of engineering, though he dropped out before finishing his degree. So I would assume that his passing familiarity with applied science would give some deeper insight into the value of the space program. Apparently not. So let's look at the issue for a moment.

First, let's break down the numbers. The 2009 NASA budget was $17.2 billion, which is comparable to the budgets of both Delta Airlines and Pfizer. According to one breakdown, that's about $1 per week for every American citizen over a whole year. I spend 20 times that amount on coffee alone. Not to be glib, but as a tax expenditure on the American federal budget, it's not particularly large.

A 1992 article in Nature estimated the economic benefits to the American taxpayer wrought by the space program:

• $21.6 billion in sales and benefits
• 352,000 (mostly skilled) jobs created or saved
• $355 million in federal corporate income taxes
• $95 billion to U.S. economic activity
• $1.5 billion return on investment in the form of sold commercial goods and services

This does not include the economic impact on local communities benefiting from the influx of new industries and professionals, nor on the long term economic advantages of all the spin-off products and technologies. For example, many of the materials advances of the space program gave us the stuff from which our current generation of outdoor gear was developed; the economy of sales of camping gear does not factor into the above calculus.

Since Kutcher mentioned Mars specifically, let's note that the Mars Exploration Rover (MER) missions cost NASA about $820 million. The remaining Mars budget has been cut to about $340 million.

This seems like a lot of money --and it would be, for a single person. But it's a pittance for government. And let's not forget that this money is being spent on employing thousands of people and on building and sustaining industries that keep entire communities afloat.

Indeed, because of the space program we have microcomputers, temperature resistant fabrics, velcro, magnificent breakthroughs in distance and telemedicine, manufacturing and material sciences, not to mention a global satellite-based communications and GPS system.

Mind you, the same logic could be applied to the military, which has dramatic economic downstream ameliorations. But while expenditures on the military eventually end up killing lots and lots of people, expenditures on the space program are not meant to kill, but rather increase scientific knowledge, propel technological advancement in a slew of areas, and ultimately open up vistas for cheaper and more efficient energy production, food production, medical care, manufacturing, propulsion, communication and computing.

So let's gut the military, but keep on financing the space program. Solutions to many earthly problems lie beyond our gravity well. For instance, I've argued in this space many times that the time has come to explore the building of orbital power satellites to solve our terrestrial energy demands.

Meanwhile, reports indicate that Ashton Kutcher will get paid $10 million to pretend to be a florist in his next movie, and will receive 10% of the movie's gross receipts. Zod only knows how much this overreacting doofus is actually worth. Exactly how does his wealth or his movie about a florist impact the werewithal of society? Maybe we should liquidate his assets to fight "child slavery".

Daily Twitter

Yes I know these daily automated posts are getting annoying. I'm looking for a way to make them weekly instead of daily. Anyone know of a (free) service?

• 10:10 : Twitter haiku #45 - "Banks like some rappers / Notorious AIG / Die and pass the buck." #
• 23:01 : Twitter haiku #46 - "The mortgage crisis: / Folks move back to apartments / To pay a 'flat' rate." #
• 23:08 @olpcbrasil I use an OLPC as a demonstration item in my undergrad class on global health and development. #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter Follow my tweets at twitter.com/deonandan.

Daily Twitter

Yes I know these daily automated posts are getting annoying. I'm looking for a way to make them weekly instead of daily. Anyone know of a (free) service?

• 01:44 : Twitter haiku #42 - "Some transsexuals / Hide from us their true intent / Hidden 'agenders'." #
• 14:03 : Twitter haiku #43 - "My ADHD / Is fully under control. / Oh look! A squirrel!" #
• 23:16 : Twitter haiku #44 - "Sub-prime career change / I used to be a banker / But I lost interest." #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter Follow my tweets at twitter.com/deonandan.

Definitely Not Battlestar Ga-craptica

Scene from the Battlestar Galactica finale "Daybreak", featuring my two favourite characters, Caprica Six and Gaius Baltar

Happy birthday to William Shatner, who turned 78 on Sunday. Wow. 78. Further wow: I know William Shatner's birthday.

Apropos of nothing: Melissa G. sends us Hamlet's Facebook page! And as usual, Dawn L. sends us someone's top 5 weirdest fetishes. Does this count as a Daily Perv Link (TM)? Heck, why not. The piggy-back rides sound particularly odd to me.

As I currently await the most recent episode of Heroes to finish downloading, I'm reflecting on the series finale of the "re-imagined"Battlestar Galactica, a show considered by many to be the best American TV show ever witnessed on free television. I had previously listed what I consider to be the best sci-fi finales in TV history. I'm not quite sure Galactica lives up to that list, but it is an extraordinarily well produced and evocative ending. Unlike many who've written about it, I'm not the least disappointed.

Expect a full review of the finale on Skiffy.ca sometime very soon. I will say, though, that I'm unsure of how I feel about Bob Dylan's "All Along The Watchtower" playing such a prominent and unironic role in the finale. Music has long been BG's "other" character, pushing mood and content further than I think any previous TV score has managed.

The secret Cylon "summoning" music was one of this season's open secrets. Composer Bear McCreary has been candid about borrowing heavily from the Dylan song to elicit the summoning tune. Without giving away too much of a spoiler, it was a bit of an anachronism to have the Hendrix version erupt later in the show, even having Starbuck utter the line, "There must be some kind of way out of here" before engaging the Galactica's FTL drive.

The brilliance of the finale, as I hope to make clear in a future article, is in its reliance on character, rather than plot, to tie the elements together. No plot could have satisfied the legions of rabid fanboys eager for resolutions to all the show's lingering mysteries. The right approach, then, was to relegate exposition to deus ex machina, and to focus both on the rightness of character reaction and on some underlying theme or messaging.

Here's a fan-made compilation of scenes from the series, accompanied by McCreary's version of "All Along The Watchtower".

In Other News...

And further apropos of nothing, here are a few random photos from the past couple of weeks.

Giving my talk at the WHO simulation in Montreal.


At a "bhangra and Caribbean" party in Toronto this past weekend.

Daily Twitter

Hey if these daily automated Twitter posts are getting annoying, tell me!

• 01:39 : Twitter haiku #40 - "Speckles of gray hair / I need a suicide scalp/ Dye by my own hand." #
• 11:30 : Twitter haiku #41 -"Serious back pain / After tripping on frisbee / Seems I slipped a disc." #
• 13:55 : new blog post on the Galloway affair tinyurl.com/dyeap7 #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter Follow my tweets at twitter.com/deonandan.

Let George Galloway In!

George Galloway prances about in his unitard.

It's still a little difficult for me to wrap my little brain around this, so I have to say it aloud: "A serving, democratically elected politician from one of Canada's closest allies, who is under no indictments in his country or ours, has been invited by Canadians to speak to Canadians.... yet our government refuses him entry to do so."

Of course, I'm talking about outspoken and often outrageous Scottish MP George Galloway, who has been denied entry into this country by the Harper government. Technically, the government is in its rights to do so, as Section 34(1) of the Immigration and Refugee Protection Act bans entry into this country of individuals who provide "material support" for terrorist groups. Mr. Galloway has admitted to giving money to Hezbollah and Hamas, groups that the current Canadian government has deemed as terrorist; and he has spoken openly of his admiration for those groups.

Mr. Galloway is a bit of a contradictory character. On one hand, he's very much a public buffoon who pranced about in a unitard on UK's reality show Big Brother, where he also engaged in a creepy, fetishized feline impersonation. On the other hand, he is a firebrand debater and activist who is known for his great public battles with intellectual stalwarts like Christopher Hitchens. Love him or hate him, there's no denying that his is a very entertaing show.

American actor John Malkovich, while addressing students in Cambridge in 2002, famously proclaimed that he would like to "shoot" Galloway. Malkovich, noted for his pro-Israel views, was investigated by the British government, since uttering death threats --especially against a sitting politician-- is very much legally problematic. But ultimately Malkovich was permitted to continue his speaking tour of the UK unmolested. That affair presents an interesting mirror to the events in Canada this past week.

Every day at every border of this nation, individuals are turned away. They are denied entry because of fraudulent or insufficient documents, suspicion of criminal activity or, frankly, as a result of a personal whim by an immigration inspector. Mr. Galloway's case is a bit different, due both to his standing as a member of the government of one of Canada's closest friends, and in the way that responses to his barring have been sorted stricty between this country's political poles of Right and Left, suggesting strongly that the underlying reasons for his denial are more political than having to do with concerns over national security.

Leaning strongly toward the Right of this country's political pole is self-styled free speech champion, and former Canadian Alliance (now Conservative) candidate, Ezra Levant. Mr. Levant is the fellow who famously re-published those Danish cartoons that were offensive to many Muslims, insisting that free speech must remain one of our supreme civil rights. Yet in his blog post of March 20, 2009, Mr. Levant nevertheless supported the ban on Galloway, saying of the controversy:

"I don't see this as a free speech issue; I see it as a sovereignty issue -- keeping out an undesirable foreigner who has no right to be here, and who boasts about violating our criminal code."

It can be argued that Mr. Levant's defence of free speech may extend only to those whose platforms he supports, a position that sadly continues to define political discourse in this country.

The "violations of criminal code" mentoned by Mr. Levant refer to the possibility that Mr. Galloway would be using his visit to Canada to drum up financial support for terror groups. That would indeed be a criminal action in this country. However, a speaking tour is not necessarily a fund-raising tour. A true champion of free speech would insist on Mr. Galloway being given his soap box, but with strict policing oversight to make sure no criminal lines were crossed.

I therefore suspect that for many on the political Right, what is ostensibly a matter of national security --or of "soverignty", as Mr. Levant puts it-- is actually based on political distaste. The Galloway affair thus represents an opportunity for Canadians to be introspective and galvanize our feelings on freedom of expression. We are not truly an inclusive society until we include those with whom we profundly disagree.

Frankly, while it is true that Mr. Galloway has no overt right to enter Canada and speak to Canadians, this is not really about him. It's about us. Mr. Galloway was invited by Canadians to speak to Canadians. Barring him entry punishes the people of Canada by denying us access to a voice that apparently many want to hear. The same logic would apply to any politically polarizing figure.

Indeed, the section of the Immigration and Refugee Protection Act used as legal justification for the barring of Mr. Galloway also states that an individual can be denied entry into Canada for: "engaging in or instigating the subversion by force of any government."

That line can quite easily be interpreted to classify former President George W. Bush as an undesirable entrant into Canada. Yet earlier this month, Mr. Bush was welcomed with open arms in Calgary, stronghold of the current Conservative government.

The prevention of Mr. Galloway's visit is not an expression of legal correctness nor even a repudiation of the man's polarizing views. Rather, it is a fairly transparent attempt by our Conservative government to define and hue discourse in this country by selectively controlling which voices to which Canadians shall have access. It is a profoundly undemocratic practice.

Daily Twitter

Hey if these daily automated Twitter posts are getting annoying, tell me!

• 13:46 : Twitter haiku #39 - "If I were a cheese / Then my corresponding wine: / Full-bodied, tarty." #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter Follow my tweets at twitter.com/deonandan.

Daily Twitter

Hey if these daily automated Twitter posts are getting annoying, tell me!

• 11:59 : Twitter haiku #37 - "Physio assigned / 'The McKenzie Protocol' / I feel like a spy" #
• 15:05 : Twitter haiku #38 - "I'm trying to read / A book on ADHD / But I'm distracted." #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter Follow my tweets at twitter.com/deonandan.

Daily Twitter

Hey if these daily automated Twitter posts are getting annoying, tell me!

• 02:49 : Twitter haiku #33 - "St. Patrick's Day first: / A Black-Irish President / Barry O'Bama" #
• 14:11 : Twitter haiku #35 - "It's good to be male / When drunk and need a toilet / Why shoes smell of pee?" #
• 17:45 : Shhh! I'm watching Lost. #
• 21:31 : Twitter haiku #36 - "To bed with concern / Clumsy bugs on the ceiling / I sleep open-mouthed" #
• 22:19 @grahamsanders shouldn't you be on vacation or something? #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter Follow my tweets at twitter.com/deonandan.

Meanwhile...

Image courtesy of Dawn L. Does it count as a Daily Perv Link(TM)? Sure, why not.

From E.K. Hornbeck comes this story of John McCain's idiot daughter complaining about her love life. Cry me a river, baby. Sample of her idiocy: "I am not only turned off by people who voted for Barack Obama, but I am also turned off by people that voted for my dad." Really? So you're essentially turned off by pretty much anyone who voted... unless he spoiled his ballot or voted for a loser third party candidate.

Jeez.

Meanwhile, Nadya "Octomom" Suleman's story is so ridiculous that I found myself talking about her to my class of first year undergrads today. Here's an interesting take on our own hypocrisy when dealing with her.

Speaking of Octomom, I think I found my Hallowe'en costume for next year:


And here's the "Octomom" Denny's special: "14 eggs, no sausage, and the guy next to you has to pay for it."

Meanwhile, know of an interesting immigrant in Canada? Why not nominate him/her for the Top 25 Canadian Immigrant Awards?

Meanwhile, Brad Parker sends us this great collection of art work done by prisoners in New Delhi. Here are two of my favourites:




By the way, everyone and his/her dog has been sending me this article about inter-racial dating. I'm not sure why. I have no comments.

I have no more meanwhiles for you today.

Football Team With Guns

You know, in the past four days I've been given three traffic tickets. One of them I really deserved: I was parked illegally in a campus lot, and they caught me red-handed. Another, I was definitely innocent, parked between two parking signs (confirmed by my passenger).

In the third, I made what appeared to be a legal right turn in downtown Ottawa, but was pulled over and dinged for an "illegal right turn". While waiting for my ticket to be written, I sat in the car for about six minutes, during which time I watched the same cop pull over about five other vehicles for the same infraction. Clearly, we all can't be blind. Was there really a sign?

Then I took a good look at each of the other drivers as he (they were all men) was directed to park near me and await his ticket. We were all visible minorities, more precisely men of dark skin. Coincidence? Quite possibly. Maybe we darkies are all visually impaired when it comes to street signs. Or, to be more demographically precise, maybe non-white men between 30 and 55, traveling alone, are more likely to be scofflaws?

In Toronto a week ago, I was pulled over by a cop for no particular reason. He later stammered out a weak explanation of, "Um, you're driving a rental car and I thought I should check it out."

Really? Driving a rental car is now grounds for being pulled over? And remember this story about being interrogated by a traffic cop over a lost passport three years earlier? How does a traffic cop get access to my federal travel documents from his vehicle computer, and why does he feel the need to express his power trip by bringing it to my attention?

Another common characteristic to all of these incidents (minus simply finding tickets on my windshield, of course) is the attitude and behaviour of the policemen involved. Gruff condescension is the norm, not respectful concern for society.

I don't know what's going on. I do notice however, that something has changed within me regarding my perception of policemen. When I was younger and saw a cop walking or driving by, it made me feel safer. I was happy to see him. Now when I see one, I get tense and try to avoid eye contact.

These experiences are almost akin to those continuously experienced by non-white people at borders and airports. Just last November, as I was the only non-white person traveling with a medical team to Guyana, I was stopped four times in one leg alone, consistently the only member of our team singled out for scrutiny. Random search, my ass.

Do keep in mind that I have never been charged or investigated for a crime, beyond traffic violations. Few would argue that I'm not an involved and visible member of civil society.

As a friend put it, something has changed in the way our society selects and trains policemen (and customs people), it seems. Years ago, he argues, they were chosen for their paternal characteristics (they were all men, after all). Middle aged, wise-cracking dudes were the norm. Now they mostly seem to be 25 year old thugs with brush cuts. A more discourteous description is, "a football team with guns".

Mind you, I've had some very positive experiences with policemen, as well. But, as in all things, when enough negative experiences arise, those are the examples one remembers and that one slots into a pattern. (Is this unscientific? Let's let Nasty Nicky B figure that one out for us.)

All of this is weirdly in contrast with my experiences dealing with members of the military in pretty much every country I've visited, including the USA. I have found soldiers to be remarkably well mannered and deferential.

Perhaps this is all yet one more reason I should consider running for public office one day.... if the questionable content on this blog hasn't already disqualified me!


In Other News...

I had an interesting visit to a student massage clinic last night. The therapist I was assigned was blind. Well, good for her. What a great career for a visually impaired person, since she can feel her way through it quite well. We had a good laugh about her having to struggle to "drape" me appropriately. Frankly, why should I care whether or not I'm exposed to a blind person?

It did get a little weird, though, when she tried to give a happy ending to my big toe.

(Kidding! I'm kidding! ...mostly.)

Daily Twitter

Hey if these daily automated Twitter posts are getting annoying, tell me!

• 09:13 : Twitter haiku #28 - "Name for my penis / Notorious B-I-G / (He's not using it)" #
• 11:26 @N00RA which one are you referring to? The latest penis one? #
• 12:30 : Twitter haiku #29 - "Beware mohel-cum-chef / With limited meat supplies / Avoid the jerky" #
• 13:56 : Twitter haiku #30 - "Three traffic tickets / In seventy two hours / No wonder I'm broke" #
• 23:15 : Twitter haiku #31 - ""Just got a massage / From a blind therapist / But I saw her peek." #
• 23:47 @grahamsanders I get all my sex advice from an 85 year old virgin #
• 23:49 : Twitter haiku #32 - "Pope: don't use condoms / I get all my sex advice / From an old virgin" #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter Follow my tweets at twitter.com/deonandan.

Dr Manhattan is NASTY

A Facebook friend, aware of my twin loves for both Watchmen and all things pervy, sent me this:



Not sure if it counts as a Daily Perv Link (TM), but why not?

Daily Twitter

Hey if these daily automated Twitter posts are getting annoying, tell me!

• 01:46 : Twitter haiku #24 - "For one night only / To bed at a decent time / Or maybe watch porn" #
• 07:15 : Twittee haiku #26 - "Getting physio / Is much less of pain when / Therapist is hot" #
• 17:42 : Twitter haiku #26 - "Day for St. Patrick / Vomiting emerald beer / I look great in green." #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter Follow my tweets at twitter.com/deonandan.

Burlington, Vermont

I just wanted to say a quick note about my recent weekend in Burlington, Vermont. What a lovely town! With a population of only 40,000 or so, it still feels like a cosmopolitan centre, ringed with gorgeous natural beauty. As with many American towns, the cuisine benefits from the best of a variety of traditions, in this case both New England heartiness and Southern fattiness. I will not soon forget my excellent breakfast of sweet potato waffles, battered chicken covered in sausage gravy, buttery grits, and an omelet filled with kelbasa and sauerkraut. How inspired!

While I was there, I partook of a wine tasting at a local liquor store. Mmmm, free cheese and lots of free South American wine. Can't beat that. The town is so quaintly small, that the somneliers from the liquor store were later encountered at the same restaurant where I had dinner that night. They were hesitant to comment on the restaurant's wine list, however.

Driving from Ottawa to Vermont is an interesting experience. It's actually shorter than the drive to Toronto, but a bit more hectic. See, you have to go through Montreal, which is some of the most unpleasant stretch of highway to be found in the North American northeast. Once you're past that hell, there's an hour or so of nothing.... by which I mean lovely scenery, but no gas stations or pit stops.

Crossing into the USA, the driving picks up noticeably. One thing I absolutely love about driving south of the border is that Americans know how to treat long distance drivers. Along major highways are rest stations with clean bathrooms, snack machines, free coffee and tourist literature. We could sure use that in Canada.

Actually crossing the border was sort of odd. Crossing into the USA, the American border guard was very polite and friendly and just waved me through after a couple of brisk questions. I guess the new Obama era openness is already percolating to the fringes!

Returning to Canada was another story. The Canadian guard pulled me over and searched the car. I guess he was concered I was smuggling sweet potato waffles.

Just south of the border there's a sign for the 45 degree latitude mark, declaring it (accurately, though somewhat ridiculously) to be "exactly halfway between the equator and the north pole." Speaking of signs, I was bemused to find a street parking spot in Burlington reserved for the mayor. Don't know why I find that odd, I just do. Just adds to the quaintness.

Final verdict: I recommend a visit to Vermont. What a nice place!

In other news: New article up at Skiffy.ca, this one about the new animated series, Wolverine & The X-Men.

Daily Twitter

Hey if these daily automated Twitter posts are getting annoying, tell me!

• 21:42 : Off the gym at 10pm. Yep, I'm a superstar. #
• 23:09 : frying up bacon at 11:pm, 'cause that's the way I roll, baby. #
• 01:46 : Twitter haiku #24 - "For one night only / To bed at a decent time / Or maybe watch porn" #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter Follow my tweets at twitter.com/deonandan.

The Joy of Undergrads

Hey, big shout out to all my students who might be reading this. Hi! Stop reading this blog and go write your papers!

I love my students, I really do. Even the annoying ones. Sometimes they underwhelm me. Sometimes they overwhelm me. Sometimes they disappoint me. Sometimes they surprise me with their excellence. But it's always a joy to see them. Really.

(And if any of them are still reading this: just because I like you, it doesn't mean I won't kick your ass (figuratively) if you piss me off!)

Today one of my older students in my first year class brought her son to sit in on my lecture. The little fellow appeared to be about 11 years old, but I really don't know. But man, was he ever impressive. In a room of 200, only he knew the answers to two very basic (but obscure) geography questions: where are the nations of San Marrino and Andorra?

After class, I quizzed him briefly on some tougher geography questions: what are the capital(s) of South Africa? How about Iceland? Suriname? He got them all right. He gave me a question in response: What's the capital city of Tuvalu? I had no idea. (The answer is Funafuti, by the way; I looked it up.)

I tells ya, that young fellow filled me with a great deal of optimism for the intellectual quality of our upcoming generations... despite contrary evidence. I hope he comes back to class!

Meanwhile, a colleague at a different university was kind enough to share with me some tidbits from application essays to his/her programme. Here are some of the best quotes:

"I am also a big fan of billiard. Trick shots require a great amount of thinking and pulling them off provides a great sense of satisfaction."

"Being taught CPR can always come in handy just in case of emergencies."

"The teachers kept saying change was good. That change meant new horizons. I didn’t see any change. I’ve only realized how much longer I will remain shackled to the educational system."

"I took care of homeless dogs in my garage, because in the house I was not allowed. But I did, very rarely, maybe ten time, managed to snick a cat into my room."

"I have always wanted to succeed. Even when I was a baby I wanted to."

"I want to maximize my generativity"

"Therefore, I borrowed a couple of books about Einstein. They always surprise me with how little I know."

"Having a balanced life is more weighty."

"So I’m celebrating the fact that I’ve moved prisons? It’s like hopping over the fence just to find out there’s another fence with barb wire. This was ridiculous. Free air conditioning? Considering we’re paying for the rental of the place, the damn air conditioning better be free."

"At school I am one of the leaders of C.I.A "

"In the community I have also volunteered at different events such as ‘Free Hugs’ and Police Picnics."

"But I bet you can’t tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel."

"My body slowly burns from the inside. It is disintegrating, disappearing, changing. Energy is what burns the fat slowly into sweat, like the sun melts wax - slowly. There is no more presence of softness or excess curves. Instead my body is toned. My curves are tight now, whereas once they were buried beneath more unpleasant, unwanted flesh. I look into the mirror and see a stranger."

"It seems the more advanced we become the easier it becomes for people to commit crime."

"You are repeating something that makes you different but the fact that you are continually repeating proves that fact that you are staying the same in a way."

"My interests and participation in activities outside the classroom has made me independent and confident because of the expression of my inner beauty."

"'Too much of everything is bad,' a man once said."

Re: USA. "In spite of their intervention in World War 2 to impede the drastic war for being more dreadful, they are still noted for being one of the most hated countries in the world."

"In the life’s of Tupac Amaru Shakur, Christopher Wallace you will find true American poets and role models"

"I am also responsible for contacting the photographer who is required for taking snapshots of our graduates during this special night"

"I am also a member of the Biology Club, participating in dissections to receive observational and practical experience dealing with animal parts."

"I realized that even the very fundamentals of music would cling onto me permanently"

"'The more things change, the more they stay the same', the following aphorism can be used to describe society’s need and love for sports."

"To summarize, even as everything around us changes from our politicians, to our culture, to our technology, our need for sports and the love that we express towards them on a day to day basis stays the same."

"Also, I enjoy retail therapy and I know that loads of shopping will not relieve me of my stress, but I always comfort myself by saying how by shopping, I am helping the country’s current economic crisis."

"The major value in participating in extracurricular activities is that you can take your mind off the burden of school"

"... you can intermingle with them, without having to compete with them to attain the highest grade average."

"Beyond the classroom you will find more people than there are inside it."

"If we would have given up on improving the 1885 car, than we would not have cars driving us nowadays."

Now, I would not be an educator if I did not seek to remedy this... um... misfortune. So for those interested in improving their writing abilities, I recommend Purdue College's online writing resources.

Deonandan's Twitter Tweets

These are my recent Twitter tweets. Yes, I know the frequent postings are getting annoying.

• 14:24 : Twitter haiku #19 - "Frakking CBC / Has a contest on haikus / Frakking CBC" #
• 21:58 : Twitter haiku #20 - "I'm drunk in Vermont / New England spirits haunt. Wait... / ...Theres a NEW England??" #
• 00:31 : Twitter haiku #21 - "Still drunk in Vermont / Fifteen percent more wasted / Due to exchange rate." #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter Follow my tweets at twitter.com/deonandan.

Deonandan's Twitter Tweets

These are my recent Twitter tweets. Yes, I know the frequent postings are getting annoying.

• 09:41 : Twitter haiku #16 - "Stooped king of Egypt / I think Pharaoh needs to call / A Cairo-practor" #
• 14:38 : Twitter haiku #16 - "Physio tells me / I have a tight 'dural sheath' / You're jealous, aren't you?" #
• 01:57 : Twitter haiku #18 - "Cleaning the toilet / A necessary evil / But a shitty job" #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter Follow my tweets at twitter.com/deonandan.

Deonandan's Twitter Tweets

These are my recent Twitter tweets. Yes, I know the frequent postings are getting annoying.

• 09:44 : my wall! What have they done to my wall?! #
• 14:40 : Twitter haiku #15 - "Child orangutan / Wearing a hospital gown / Who' sick? You or me?" #
• 22:00 : explaining twitter to a professor in a bar... Over tequila. #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter Follow my tweets at twitter.com/deonandan.

Deonandan's Twitter Tweets

These are my recent Twitter tweets. Yes, I know the frequent postings are getting annoying.

• 04:05 : sent 45 lbs of dirty clothes to be cleaned and folded at a Chinese laundry. Who knew you could still do such things? #
• 05:06 : Twitter haiku #11 - "Jesus and Moses / Fight Mohammed to the death / Buddha winks at Ram" #
• 10:23 : miraculously managed to get my inbox down to double digits this morning.... temporarily :( #
• 12:28 : excited about picking up his 45 lbs of Chinese laundry #
• 16:00 : got my Chinese laundry back. $45 well spent. The additional $45 parking ticket? Less well spent. #
• 17:01 : I have lost control of my Facebook page #
• 17:37 : Twitter haiku #12 - "A haiku virus / Spreads among Facebook users / Poem uni-'verse' " #
• 19:05 : Twitter haiku #13 - "His son to Einstein, / 'Dad, I want to be like you,' / 'It's all relative.'" #
• 22:52 : Twitter haiku #14 - "Deleted comments / On threads over one hundred / rename 'CensorBook'" #
• 23:29 : re-watching ST:OGaM. Why? Why not. is.gd/mZZU/ #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter Follow my tweets at twitter.com/deonandan.

Deonandan's Twitter Tweets

These are my recent Twitter tweets. Yes, I know the frequent postings are getting annoying.

• 08:06 : I need a new lower back. Who's got a spare? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? #
• 09:17 : Twitter haiku #9 - "Three weeks, no laundry / Feel like I'm in the army / Going commando" #
• 15:17 : massage + muscle relaxant + Benadryl + espresso = a fine Tuesday afternoon #
• 19:46 : Twitter haiku #10 - "Three weeks, no laundry / Need a new euphemism / Unfurnished basement?" #
• 22:44 : Is it wrong that I'm frying up a burger at 11pm... and I'm not hungry? #
• 22:59 : Gotta take a brief break from all this Facebookery to tend to my burger. Wait for me!!!! #
• 23:14 : digging the new ultra-slim burger buns! #
• 23:22 : eating freshly burnt burger in a super-slim bun, drinking grapefruit juice dowsed in mineral water and watching "Batman, The Brave and ... #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter Follow my tweets at twitter.com/deonandan.

Hotspot Shield and Vista

If thou art a benighted soul like me, and suffer inexplicably to have one of thine computers burdened with the beast called "Vista", then surely woes must betide thee. The most recent hair-pulling sessions come from a nice piece of software called, "Hotspot Shield", which allows you to browse the internet somewhat anonymously. This is useful for accessing (free, legal) content that is nonetheless blocked for residents of your country.

For example, if you want to watch the latest clips from the upcoming episodes of Lost on ABC.com, you have to be a US resident to gain access. The same is true if you want to purchase some video content on iTunes. Hotspot Shield allows you to "pose" as an American in order to access this free content.

I don't see that any copyrights are being infringed upon this way, and certainly no piracy is in effect. Actually, opening the borders this way helps people who sell online content, since more than just Americans want to buy video on iTunes.

But I digress.

If you run Vista and have also installed Hotspot Shield, your computer may be randomly rebooting and defaulting to the famous MicroSoft "blue screen of death". I know mine is.

This is your solution:

1. Delete the file "hssdrv.sys" from your driver folder (C://windows/system32/driver/hssdrv.sys)
2. Uninstall "Hotspot Shield"

That should do the trick.

You may also want to:

1. Disable "Hotshield" on your device manager
2. Uncheck hotshield on your network properties
3. Run a registry cleaner to remove all traces of the beast.

Voila.

Deonandan's Twitter Tweets

These are my recent Twitter tweets. Yes, I know the frequent postings are getting annoying.

• 10:36 : Finally got a cup to fit into my espresso machine. Okay, I stole the cup from a hotel. Same difference. Bottom line, I'm drinking e ... #
• 12:46 : Twitter haiku #8 - "Globalization / Can involve many nations / Wealth concentration" #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter Follow my tweets at twitter.com/deonandan.

bin Blogging

Hey it's Osama bin Laden's birthday today! I did a quick Google image search for "Osama" and found the following:



(Also called "bin Shopping")







Lastly, today's Daily Perv Link (TM) is courtesy of Andoo. It's footage of a turtle doing it with a shoe. You know you want to see it. Go ahead. It's okay.

Deonandan's Twitter Tweets

These are my recent Twitter tweets. Yes, I know the frequent postings are getting annoying.

• 23:23 : Twitter haiku #7: "Watching pro wrestling / The masked bad guy owns a dog! / Is it also fixed?" #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter Follow my tweets at twitter.com/deonandan.

Deonandan's Twitter Tweets

These are my recent Twitter tweets. Yes, I know the frequent postings are getting annoying.

• 17:26 : Off to give keynote at Undergrad Residents' Ball at National Arts Centre. Drunken haiku later. #
• 22:48 : Twitter haiku #6 - "Drunken undergrads / Falling out of prom dresses / Must...think...of...career..." #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter Follow my tweets at twitter.com/deonandan.

Deonandan's Twitter Tweets

• 14:35 : twitter haiku #5 - "Montreal breakfast / I stumble in the bistro/ Exclaim aloud, 'Oeuf!'" #
• 22:26 : Off to give keynote at Undergrad Residents' Ball at National Arts Centre. Drunken haiku later. #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter

Deonandan's Twitter Tweets

• 04:31 : off to Montreal tomorrow to speak at the WHO Simulation (www.monwho.org). Come on down! #
• 15:31 : thinking up new Twitter haikus. Stay tuned! #
• 16:39 : you'd think the chiropractor's waiting room would have ergonomic chairs. But noooooo. Because that would give me PLEASURE. #
• 16:45 : Twitter haiku #4 - "A chiropractor / Sees an insurance broker / Gets an adjustment." #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter

Other Twitter Haikus

Okay, thanks to Rondi I'm using LoudTwitter to automatically upload my recent Twitter updates as blog posts. This is relevant because I'm also trying to create a new art form: the Twitter haiku.

Yesterday, LoudTwitter uploaded only one of my little poetic gems, so I need to catch you up. Here are the original three. Let' see if I can keep this up!

• : my first Twitter haiku... 'Eat cheesies watch porn / Why is my penis orange? / Mysteries of life.'
• : Twitter haiku #2 - "Opportunity / Can come from pornography / Chance to feel cocky."
• : Twitter haiku #3 - "Salmon liver oil / Essential part of perfume / Something smells fishy."

If you'd like, you can follow me here.

Deonandan's Twitter Tweets

• 08:18 : Twitter haiku #3 - "Salmon liver oil / Essential part of perfume / Something smells fishy" #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter

Bahloo

The beautiful animal above is Bahloo, the shepherd-labrador mix that belonged to one of my ex-girlfriends. I just learned that Bahloo recently passed away. He was a very healthy old dog, living till the ripe age of 14 --Methuselah's age for a dog!

I'm not one for posting obituaries for dogs, but this one was pretty unique and interesting. For the first few weeks of knowing him, this fellow hated me. He was a natural alpha male and reflexive leader. It was only after being left alone with him on an island on a river somewhere in Quebec that I managed to earn his respect, pretty much by growling at him whenever he growled at me, and threatening him with my magical thumb.

Yes, my magical thumb. Whenever he got uppity (and believe me, a huge, masculine dog like that gets really scary when he gets uppity) I'd growl at him and point to my right thumb. Pretty fast, he grew to respect my thumb. I kid you not.

We got on pretty well after that. We were never pals. Whenever I walked him, it was more a case of a wary soldier providing an armed escort to a dangerous super villain than of a master walking a dog. The photo above was taken on my cell phone during one of our walks. It's a miracle the camera actually worked and managed to pop out a decent photo; it never does ordinarily.

The thing about Bahloo is that he was not an affectionate dog. He wouldn't snuggle with you if you gave him treats and took him for walks. You were expected to do those things, and your reward for doing them is that he would not look at you with disdain... or as if you were food. This was a dog with dignity. He was nobody's bitch.

There was also something mystical about this animal. His owner had dreamed of him long before actually finding and adopting him. Myself, I often dream of him still. In fact, though I had not seen him nor his owner in years, I knew the moment he died. A switch went off inside me.

Why do I mention all of this? It's an excuse to relate one of my favourite tales from the great Hindu epic The Mahabharata. In the end, the perfect emperor Yudisthira is old and alone, his kingship long done and his family long dead. Only he and his dog remain, and they are paupers walking in the wintery cold of the Himalayas.

Suddenly, a window opens from the clouds and a rope ladder hangs down before Yudishtira. A voice bellows, "Yudishtira, you have done all that you need do in your honourable life. Climb this ladder and enter bodily into heaven."

Yudishtira answers, "But what of my dog?"

"There is no place for a dog in heaven," the voice responds.

At this, Yudishtira decides that his loyalty to his dog is more important than his final celestial reward, and turns his back on the ladder. Just then, his dog magically transforms into the god Shiva, who tells Yudishtira that this was his final test, and the two ascend together into heaven.

Well, that's my version of the story, in any case.

In other news, check out the latest post at www.skiffy.ca: "The Best TV Series Finales".