Weekly Twitter Tweets

Weekly Twitter tweets from deonandan, since:2009-06-24



:Twitter haiku 145 - "It's Domin'yun Day / Changed due to confusion with / A supermarket"
Jul 1, 2009 01:51 PM GMT

:All glory to the hypnotoad!
Jul 1, 2009 03:39 AM GMT

:Twitter haiku 144 - "Seeing a psychic / To find a potential spouse: / Love at second sight?"
Jun 30, 2009 01:23 PM GMT

:Didn't pull the trigger fast enough. Both properties are conditionally sold.
Jun 29, 2009 09:07 PM GMT

:Twitter haiku 143 - "Computer program / For parsing Greek alphabet /Needs beta testing"
Jun 29, 2009 12:27 PM GMT

:Do I buy the tiny but affordable condo, smack downtown; or the magnificent expensive one, a tad further out? Which am I: cheap or spoiled?
Jun 29, 2009 01:27 AM GMT

:sadness = me tweeting my suburban escapades on a nice sunny day + you reading them instead of going out!
Jun 27, 2009 10:29 PM GMT

:at the Walmart on Erin Mills Pkwy for no obvious reason. My pointless one man tour of Toronto's suburbs continues. More banality to come.
Jun 27, 2009 09:26 PM GMT

:just ate a street hotdog, first one in 5 years. Ugh! What was I thinking?!
Jun 27, 2009 08:04 PM GMT

:at Toronto's Harbourfront. There are geeks here having "lightsabre" fights. It's a freakin' nerdgasm.
Jun 27, 2009 07:21 PM GMT

:Twitter haiku 142 - "Celebrity deaths / Difficult to manage; quite / An undertaking"
Jun 26, 2009 11:57 AM GMT

:Twitter haiku 141 - "Once upon a time / There were three little girls who... / Oh just never mind :( "
Jun 26, 2009 01:58 AM GMT

:Twitter haiku 140 - "Your body shivers / No mere mortal can resist / Evil of Thriller"
Jun 26, 2009 01:50 AM GMT

:I'm officially switching from 2nd Cup to Starbucks. I know they're (gasp!) evil Americans, but they've better products, service and prices
Jun 25, 2009 01:05 PM GMT

:God, I hate the fucking suited dickwads who fly on the Porter Air early morning shuttles.
Jun 25, 2009 10:53 AM GMT

:who are these bloody people who need 15 min to check in at the airport?
Jun 25, 2009 10:09 AM GMT

:Twitter haiku 139 - "He who pans for gold / Does it for value that is / Just sedimental"
Jun 25, 2009 03:26 AM GMT

Celebrity Deathwatch

Wow, it's been a while since my last blog update! Been so very very busy. Sigh. Lot of stuff to cover.

First, it's gotta suck if you're Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon or Karl Malden. Not only are you dead, but you died pretty much the same time as Michael Jackson, so no one is going to take note. Not even this blog.

I was looking through my blog archives for any mention of Michael Jackson. On Dec 31, 2007, I rode a camel in Egypt named Michael Jackson. On Jan 6, 2006, one of those computerized photo matching services told me I look similar to MJ. On Sep 7, 2006, I mentioned how Adam Ant once gave MJ fashion advice. On Feb 1, 2007, I showed you the Indian version of the video for "Thriller". And on July 25 of 2008 I mentioned that I had watched the Michael Jackson biopic.

What I didn't mention, and what I'd expressed to friends at the time, was that I had been utterly convinced of Michael Jackson's innocence with respect to all the various paedophilia charges against him. He simply struck me as an odd, naive fellow with more money than sense, and with a weird fascination with his own lost childhood. I doubt if he's had more than two sexual thoughts per year in his adult life, and probably never acted on any of them.

A funny thing happened after his death was announced. First, much like the unrest in Iran, MJ's death finally brought some relevance to Twitter. Second was the mindblowing outpouring of grief, both live and online. MJ reflections dominated the Twitterverse, Facebook and pretty much every blog I frequent. I know people who were moved to depression and tears.

It's weird. Michael Jackson was only a few years older than me; I consider him to be of my generation. I grew up with his music since the 1970s. But his death, while tragic, really didn't move me much. However, the people I know who have been the most affected are those under 30 years of age, who reached social awareness well past Jackson's glory days. I'm not sure what this means, but it must surely mean something.

One Facebook comment really pissed me off, though. I don't have the exact quote in front of me, but it was something to the effect that, "Why is the world obsessing over a dead paedophile? Have all the wars, rapes and injustices in the world been solved? Why is this news?"

This comment was objectionable on so many levels. First, Michael Jackson was never found guilty of any of the charges against him, so it's unfair, incorrect and possibly slanderous to refer to him as a paedophile. Second, since when is "news" only "wars, rapes and injustices"? News is anything that is new and that people seem to care about.

What the commenter really, and obtusely, doesn't get is that Jackson's death (and life) were transformative events for a great many people in the world. Spontaneous expressions of genuine, public emotion, unspurred by media, are rare in our modern times. We should embrace them and indeed revel in them.

The Other Ray sends us the following video of the history of Moonwalk:




While we're at it, here's the best Moonwalk I've ever seen:



And Brother Bhash sends us some well-timed Michael Jackson death jokes, 'cause it ain't the Internet age unless someone crosses the line:

Jockeys at tomorrows horse meetings will wear "black" armbands out of respect for Jacko, who rode more 3 year old than anyone in living history.

When Farrah Fawcett arrived at heaven, God granted her one wish. She wished for all the children to be safe. So God killed Michael Jackson.

Out of respect, McDonalds has released the McJackson burger, 50 year old meat between 10 year old buns.

Q: Why did Michael Jackson die on the same day as Farrah Fawcett?
A: He didn’t want her to be the only white woman grabbing all the headlines.

Toxicology report is out. It seems Michael Jackson died from an allergic reaction after eating some 12 year old nuts.

Michael Jackson died of a heart attack? What did he do, walk into a room full of pre-schoolers?

That's all for today.

Weekly Twitter Tweets

Weekly Twitter tweets from deonandan, since:2009-06-15


: at Harbourfront Board of Directors meeting. Looking forward to launch of "Respect" photo show. Sadly, 2 pics have already been stolen.
Jun 24, 2009 08:19 PM GMT

: Twitter haiku 138 - "Need more online fame / Can I find a spectacle? / Punch Perez Hilton?"

: Twitter haiku 137 - "The sculptor's party / Suffered from a lack of guests / 'Twas a complete bust"

: Twitter haiku 136 - "Change sexist language: /How 'bout 'Shebrew', 'her'-stamines / And 'his'-maphrodites?"
Jun 21, 2009 02:12 PM GMT

: Twitter haiku 135 - "Me, I meditate / Often I just fall asleep / Call it 'napitate'."
Jun 20, 2009 01:47 PM GMT

: just got my picture taken with the Voyageur "6 string nation" guitar. Go ahead and Google it.
Jun 20, 2009 02:24 AM GMT

: just met someone with the adopted name "Ninja Hotfarm". I said it sounded like an obscure sex act. She didn't laugh.
Jun 20, 2009 01:01 AM GMT

: am at Podcasters Across Borders in Kingston. Met a dude named Mr Person. Seriously. No he's not a superhero.... I think.
Jun 20, 2009 12:14 AM GMT

: why does VIA rail bother with reserved seating when everyone sits where they want, and the train staff never enforces the reservation?
Jun 19, 2009 07:17 PM GMT

: just attended the kindergarten graduation of my "niece". I'm going to die from all the cuteness.
Jun 19, 2009 03:07 PM GMT

: am on TTC at 8am. Now I remember why I don't live in Toronto anymore.
Jun 19, 2009 12:50 PM GMT

: Twitter haiku 134 - "My asshole dentist / Said mean things about my teeth / He hurt my fillings"
Jun 18, 2009 11:28 AM GMT

: Twitter haiku 133 - "Director on set / Of porno with flat pillows: / 'We need more fluffers!'"
Jun 16, 2009 04:17 PM GMT

PAB09, part deux

Still in Kingston at the Podcasters Across Borders conference. It's been an excellent year for conference food. I reported earlier about the food at CPHA. Now at PAB09 I've been treated to an excellent buffet lunch of lasagna, chicken, mountains of fresh vegetables and a large array of desserts. And this evening our boat cruise featured free beer from Molsons: Rickard's White. Mmmmm, calortastic.

Surprisingly, PAB09 continues to be a thought-provoking and very enjoyable affair. I've also discovered some dopplegangers among us. This is a picture of LA-based actor and creator of the Hollywood Podcast, Tim Coyne:


And here is former Dr Who, Christopher Eccleston:


Erie, huh?

This is the owner of Pets.ca, a nice fellow named Marko Kulik:



And this is Major Dad himself, Gerald McRaney:


More eeriness abounds!

Marko clued me into this last eerie resemblance. Here is photographer Annie Liebovicz:


And here is, um, Howard Stern:



And that, my friends, is what you come to Deonandan.com: for the hard-hitting political analysis and social commentary.

I leave you with this, the hilarious pilot for Awesometown, a sketch comedy show by the Lonely Island, that was never picked up:



And one last thing. I tried to register the domain name Or.gy (".gy" is the country code of te nation of my birth, Guyana.) But apperently there are issues. I tried, my droogies. I tried.

PAB2009

Greetings from the 2009 Podcasters Across Borders convention in sunny Kingston, Ontario. As you probably don't know, my friend (she would say, "acquaintance", I'm sure) Chamika A. and I have been trying to launch Chutnification, a podcast about South Asian literature, for some months now. Don't think about stealing the name. We already own it. So we're here for the skinny on the podcasting world. Yes, it's a nerdly sausage fest. But you know what? So far it's a pretty fun time. The fellow conventioneers are all well engaged and genuinely nice people, and there ain't nothin' wrong wit dat.

Here's a pic of Chamika and me. I'm throwing down some bad-ass gang signs. So no, I'm not having a seizure:



Since our podcast doesn't have any, you know, content yet, I'm calling it a "mimecast". Yes, you can use that terminology, too, but don't you dare forget where you heard it first. Or didn't hear it, since that's the point of the joke, after all...

Tonight I had some more ideas for podcasts:

A show about fishing: codcast
Another show about fishing: rodcast
A show for Evangelical Christians: godcast
A show for weed smokers: potcast
Another show about weed smoking: podgrass
A show for cattle ranchers: prodcast
A show for fitness freaks: bodcast
A show about Flash comic books: Gorilla Grodcast
A show about my favourite Superman villain: Kneel Before Zodcast
A show about failing computers: podcrash
A show broadcast in double stereo: quadcast
A show about affirmation: nodcast
A show about nasal hygiene: snotcast
A show about potatoes: spudcast
A slow moving show: plodcast

Well, you get the idea.


In Other News...

Darth Vadum sends us Sex Myths That Are Actually True.

Any Iranians out there wishing to protest the current shenanigans online, but are afraid of exposure? Try Anonymous Iran.

Tuesday Round-Up

Greetings from Vancouver airport where I await my very long flight back to Ontario. Yes, I've managed to get some work done, but am still behind, of course. Will I use this brief and valuable airport down time to catch up... or will I use it to surf Facebook and write a blog post? I think we all know the answer to that.

Rossland

Many thanks tomy host Gale for showing me around Rossland, BC. It's a stunningly gorgeous piece of the countrywith world-class ski runs, surprisingly good cuisine and remarkable mountainous scenery. I even managed to learn something... While touring the gold mine museum, we discovered that the tour guide was a geology student who had previously worked for Canadian miining companies. According to him, the mining industry is a leading indicator of economic downturns. Since exploration requires heavy upfront financial investment, it depends on speculative money to keep it going. When speculation decreases, mining exploration suffers, and the core mining business is not that far behind.

Vancouver

I've been here several times before, but each time I conveniently forget how ridiculous the drivers here are. Yeah, I said. I've famously written that Toronto drivers are skilled but discourteous; Ottawa drivers are unskilled but courteous; and Montreal drivers are unskilled assholes. Let's add Vancouver to that list. Vancouver drivers are... how shall I put it? Distracted. Yes, they are distracted. Their speeds are random, their timing is poor and many don't seem to know the rules of the road. Now, I will say that they all seem to be quite courteous; road rage appears to be missing in this town. Maybe it's the prevalent pot smoking, but a lot of people here seem to forget what they're doing at any given moment.

I won't bash Vancouver anymore. I actually like it here. The scenery is great, the people are goodlooking and friendly and the food is excellent. It's just that the flake factor is dialed a bit too high (emphasis on the "high") for a cynical Easterner like me. In the course of half an hour I passed dancing middle-aged white Hare Krishnas, a stoned girl standing on a box and giving away "free hugs", a "healer" accepting money in exchange for healing you by waving his hands in front of your face (he'd heal me of the affliction of too much spare change, I imagine), and of course the ubiquitous unbathed white chicks with dreadlocks, biceps Om tattoos, lip rings and tribal drums slung over their shoulders. Nothing like trying to stand out... by looking like everyone else.

I had a lovely time staying in the UBC residence (called "The Pacific Spirit Hostel" in summertime). It's a cheap way to stay in an otherwise expensive city, and you get to wake up everyday on the most gorgeous university campus in North America. But in a moment of weakness, I allowed the dude at the car rental place to sell me on all the unnecessary options. Thus my three day car rental was three times more expensive than my total accommodation cost.

Oh well. Thanks to Anju, Ram, Cam and Jen for hanging out with me in the 'Couver.

Hopefully the plane will board soon and I can watch my many downloaded cheesy movies and TV shows. Air Canada now has satellite TV on many of its flights, which is how I usually get to watch Ricky Gervais' Extras. Here's a compilation of several scenes from the fake TV show featured on Extras, called When The Whistle Blows:



Air Canada

I will say one last thing before I sign off: one would think that with a struggling economy and rising joblessness rates, customer service might improve, as business are desperate to keep their customers and workers are desperate to keep their jobs. But I observe a continuous decline in service across all sectors.

Air Canada is an interesting case. Never the best provider of service, they've made some odd choices of late. In Vancouver airport, all passengers are now required to check themselves in, print out their own baggage tags and load their own bags onto the belt. I watched a single mother of 3 wrestle with her bags and toddlers. (No, I didn't hellp because I''m an unfeeling bastard.)

So to summarize: flight prices are going up, but service is declining in every measurable way.

Fascinating times.

Weekly Twitter Tweets

Weekly Twitter tweets from deonandan, since:2009-06-10



: Twitter haiku 132 - "City in BC / Prowling middle aged women / Call it 'VanCougar'?"
Jun 15, 2009 04:17 PM GMT

: Sorry I'm going to miss convocation on Monday. But I'm proud of all my students!
Jun 15, 2009 04:40 AM GMT

: Twitter haiku 131 - "Vancouver rental / I think bad driving might be / An epidemic"
Jun 14, 2009 07:02 PM GMT

: Twitter haiku 130 - "Worms, moles and Morlocks / Darkly plot revolution / Underground movement"
Jun 11, 2009 12:14 PM GMT

: Twitter haiku 129 - "Porn sector downsized / The impotent men fired / Got rid of dead wood"
Jun 10, 2009 10:18 PM GMT

En Route

Greetings from Vancouver airport. I just finished four days in, um, "sunny" Winnipeg, Manitoba, and am now abou to spend a few days in BC. If you haven't been paying attention, I was in Winterpeg for the conference of the Canadian Public Health Association. (I wonder how many people misspell it "pubic health"?)

It was a magnificent conference.... for the food! On the first night there was a reception with about a dozen freshly roasted turkey breasts. I ate about 4 lbs of turkey flesh and squirreled away another pound or so in my hotel room. When I got to my room, the tryptophan hit me and I passed out on my floor, fully dressed. Woke up thhe next morning just in time to wolf down my stash of turkey breast for breakfast and made it for my morning presentation. The maid must have been surprised to have found my bed untouched.

Throughout the week, the conference was punctuated with balefuls of fresh fruit and vegetables. I haven't eaten this healthily in months. Who knew that a trip to a conference would actually make someone healthier?

In the spirit of the moment, I decided to try to jog in "downtown" Winnipeg. I was met with many stares. A friend informed me that since I have brown skin, people probably thought I had robbed someone and were already calling the cops.

There's a place in Winterpeg called "The Forks" where, the plaques proclaim, people had been meeting for six thousand years. It's now a tourist spot, of coourse, complete with a hotel and an upscale minimall. But more importantly, they've built this magnificent piece of artwork at the centre of the area. It's hard to describe, but it appears to be in the style of a paleolithic observatory, with stations around a circle representing the celestial sphere. At three points on the circle, spotlights beam upwards. At night, you can see the beams meet directly above the circle. For lack of a better word, it's pretty damned cool.

I think it's called the Oodena Celebration Circle, and looks something like this, but much cooler at night:



Thanks to Rita for showing me around.


In Other News

My interview on CBC radio can be heard here. My segment begins at around the 10 minute mark and lasts about 2 minutes. If you don't want to stream the episode, you can download it as a MP3 here.

The interview (about my Twitter haikus) has inspired CBC to host its own Twitter haiku contest. I don't think I'll be submitting an entry. And no, I will not be calling them "twaikus".