From 1999-2005, Raywat Deonandan and Edmund Wong engaged in epic squash battles, the tales of which will live on in song for generations to cherish. While myth and legend have grown from these timeless and soul-wrenching wars, it's important that the actual facts are preserved for historical posterity. Thus, the following page is archived, so that future historians will know the truth of these titanic clashes....

Yep, I luuuv to play squash. Just love to smack the ball around the court, visualizing my least favourite person's face on the business end of that ball. I tried tennis, but was pathetic at it. I hated having to run after the ball after I hit it over the fence. With squash, you can hit the ball as hard as you want, and never have to worry about losing it.

Below are the results of my regular games againt one Squire Edmund Wong, co-owner of The Podium. Keep in mind that our games are usually played on Saturday mornings --not my best time-- at Ed's condo, hence handing him home court advantage. (That's just a taste of my list of excuses... I got plenty more.)

DATE SCORES COMMENTS
June 30, 2005 Ray: 4, Ed: 1 It took 5 years, but the belt has finally returned to its proper home.
July 6, 2001 Ed: 4, Ray: 1 Oh, like I'm going to embarrass the boy in front of his brand spanking new baby daughter? I don't think so.
Dec 22, 2001 Ed: 4, Ray: 1 Well...um... I've got bigger muscles!
Sep 28, 2001 Ed: 4, Ray: 3 Okay, I tried to squeeze in one last victory before fleeing the country. Though I dominated throughout, the terror of winning overcame me, lest I be jinxed on the eve of my voyage.
Sep 22, 2001 Ed: 4, Ray: 0 Okay, here's the deal. I'm leaving the country. As a patriot, I could not allow the hallowed belt to leave Canadian soil. So I threw the game. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Thus ends the Wong-Deonandan series.... or does it?
July 4, 2001 Ed: 4, Ray: 0 Sigh.
June 7, 2001 Ed: 4, Ray: 1 Well I guess the new era is a lot like the old era.
May 31, 2001 Belt vacated Due to an inability (or unwillingness) to defend his title within the contracted 30 day period, Squire Edmund has been stripped of the title. A new tournament will commence forthwith to determine the new champion. Yippee!
Apr 20, 2001 Ed: 4, Ray: 1 It doesn't matter what the score is... so long as I beat him before his weding...
Apr 7, 2001 Ed: 4, Ray: 0 Yeah but, yeah but... I won the "superior athlete" and "bragging rights" games! That's gotta count for something!
Mar 22, 2001 Ed: 4, Ray: 2 Shaddap. I don't want to talk about it.
Mar 17, 2001 Ed: 4, Ray: 2 Shaddap. I don't want to talk about it.
Mar 3, 2001 Ed: 4, Ray: 0 Yes, he's still getting weaker...weaker...
Feb 24, 2001 Ed: 4, Ray: 2 He's getting weaker...weaker...
Jan 15, 2001 Ed: 4, Ray: 3 The boy was running scared, I tells ya.
Jan 13, 2001 Ed: 4, Ray: 0 Hey, what just happened?
Jan 8, 2001 Ed: 4, Ray: 2 I just had physiotherapy. I'm distracted.
Dec 20, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 3 Yes, but I was down 3-0. So I am the superior athlete!
Dec 16, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 2 Look, I just won the Guyana Prize. I don't need the squash belt too. That would be wrong.
Dec 11, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 1 Okay, not so close.
Dec 2, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 3 Closer...
Nov 29, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 2 Closer...
Nov 25, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 0 There is no need to discuss this.
Nov 23, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 1 My shoulder almost fell off!
Oct 24, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 0 My shoulder hurts!
Sep 23, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 3 You know, I was winning 3-1. What happened?
Sep 2, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 2 My ex-girlfriend gets married today. I'm distracted, damn it!
July 30, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 1 I guess no Wat era.
July 26, 2000 Ray: 4, Ed: 3 Is this the start of the Wat era?
July 24, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 2 Sigh. But wait... is that the scent of hope I detect?
July 15, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 2 The boy jus got engaged. This was his present.
July 8, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 3 Grrrr.....
July 5, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 2 Middle of the week. Who plays in the middle of the week?
July 3, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 1 Beginning of the week. Who plays in the beginning of the week?
June 17, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 1 Have to let him hold the belt for another week, just to be nice.
June 10, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 2 It was the boy's birthday. I had to let him win! Also, this was the first match for a real championship belt! (Photo forthcoming.)
June 3, 2000 Ray: 4, Ed: 2 Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
May 17, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 3 This match was mine! Ended up playing the last game barefoot with a bald racquet.
May 13, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 0 Wahhhhh!
May 11, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 3 Closer...
May 9, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 1 Yes, but I won the more important "superior athlete" game. Then Ed won the "bragging rights" games, so I can't brag about being the superior athlete.
May 3, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 1 I was distracted by, um, breathing. Yeah, that's it.
Apr. 15, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 0 Sigh.
Apr. 10, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 1 I had a long day. So there.
Apr. 8, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 2 I had a massage last night. I'm too limber.
Apr. 5, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 3 You realize, of course, that I'm letting him win.
Mar. 27, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 2 He's sold his soul! He must have!
Mar. 21, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 3 You know, I was ahead 3-0, then that sneaky little b**tard caught up. It's a conspiracy, I tells ya!
Mar. 14, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 2 Well, it's closer, isn't it?
Mar. 7, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 1 I was nervous 'cause I got a haircut. Yeah.
Mar. 3, 2000 Ed: 3, Ray: 1 *Game cut short due to my illness. Otherwise I kick his ass!
Feb. 12, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 2 Damn you, pendulum! Swing back!
Feb. 9, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 1 ...And the pendulum swings back again.
Feb. 5, 2000 Ray: 4, Ed: 1 ...And the pendulum swings.
Feb. 3, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 3 Closer...
Jan. 29, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 3 I claim moral victory. That's almost as good.
Jan. 22, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 1 I'm still the superior athlete! I am!
Jan. 19, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 1 I'm just playing possum, building up his ego... softening him for his big fall.
Jan. 15, 2000 Ed: 4, Ray: 2 @#!%%$#!!!
Dec. 21, 1999 Ed: 4, Ray: 1 Shuttup.
Dec. 14, 1999 Ed: 4, Ray: 0 Um... there was a full moon. Yeah, that's it.
Dec. 11, 1999 Ed: 4, Ray: 1 Today's excuse(s): it was way too early in the morning , and I kept looking at my watch 'cause I had to get to a yoga class. So there.
Dec. 8, 1999 Ed: 4, Ray: 2 A rare evening match, the first official bout to establish a champion sees Ed take the championship belt. Grrrr.