Taking A Break From Doing My Taxes...

Apparently frogs are exploding in Germany. Seems the old Franco-Prussian hostilities never ceased.

I love Denny's, that wonderful American one-stop-centre for all things cheap, breakfasty and greasy. But there's growing evidence for some deep-seeded racist activities at several outlets of this chain. Oh what is a frugal yet socially conscious bruncher to do?

Now why didn't I think of this? A tamper proof drinking glass!

Good Ol' Nojjy Boy sends us this story about how one can soon pay to have one's genetic heritage tracked back tens of thousands of years! How better to explain one's unusual affinity for chimpish behaviour?

Self promotion alert:

In celebration of Asian Heritage Month, please join us for an evening of readings and discussion from seven celebrated Ottawa area poets and authors of Asian descent. Presenters include:

Cyril Dabydeen
Raywat Deonandan
Asoka Weerasinghe
Bing He
Betty Warrington-Kearsley
Veena Gokhale
Shakir Sheikh

Date: Tuesday May 17th, 2005
Time: 6-9pm
Place: Ottawa Public Library, Main Auditorium, 120 Metcalfe St.

Books will be available for purchase from Octopus Books and refreshments will be served.

Random Stuff In The Wee Hours

Check it out: one of my books is being sold on Ebay!

Here's a story about how the majority of condoms in India are being made into saris!

Click here to see George W. Bush rap about the draft.

Meanwhile, we sink deepere into the looking glass, as a US general admits he approved "extreme interrogation techniques" in Iraq, yet no one seems to care.

And for all of you who love science and its role as the foundation of our civilization, this op-ed from Scientific American is required reading.

Neil H. sends us this article about free speech being muzzled in Canada, and Linda G-F sends us this cartoon from The New Yorker:

And with that, I'm off to bed. Still severely jet-lagged, you see.

Busy, Busy, Busy

Hello. I know many of you are waiting for photos from my African adventure, but you'll just have to wait! I'm much too busy and the batteries in my camera are dead, so I can't transfer any images yet! Stay tuned, though....

Back In Canada

You know, this was my very first trip after which I did not actually look forward to coming home. Uganda was fascinating and charming, but I actually regret not spending more time in Europe. My pace, sense of style and aesthetic found a home there. Zoom airlines will be introducing cheap flights between Toronto and Cardiff in the Fall, so maybe I'll be spending more time there soon.

We got back to London Friday night and revelled in drinkable tap water and dust-free clothes, though the sudden increase in pricing (relative to Uganda) was sobering. Hence I remained sober. And yesterday afternoon I finally returned to Canada. Right now I'm on a VIA train to Ottawa, and will upload photos once I regain access to my sweet, sweet electronic toys.

As most of you know, I'm a fairly experiened traveller, and several of my journeys have lasted many months. Yet this comparatively petite journey of 3 weeks feels like it has lasted months, and I think it's because each and every day was packed with activities from the break of dawn to the wee hours of the evening. In a word: overstimulation.

Okay, the undergrads in front of me are having the most annoyingly banal conversation, so I need to end this entry and retreat unto sweet, sweet unconciousness. Later.

Oh So Tired (Africa Edition)

(Note: Before reading this post, please consult the very serious Deonandan.com disclaimer.)

Back in Kampala and functioning on 3 hours of sleep. Am barely awake in the Webcity internet cafe, so not sure if this post will make much sense. See, I stayed up too late watching David Lynch's Mulholland Drive last night. What a fucked movie. Some of the best lesbian sex scenes I've ever seen, though, and I don't even like that sort of thing! A good time had by all.

Today my compatriots and I hired a car and driver which will take us to Bwindi national park on Monday, whereupon we will begin our 5 hour trek into the forest, known as one of the most impenetrable in the world, in search of the elusive and endangered mountain gorilla. Andrew is pressing for us to hire porters for our trek. Ordinarily I'd rebuke such a suggestion, but I'm so fatigued from travel and from the heat that it's starting to sound like a pretty good idea.

Unfortunately it seems unlikely that I'll get a chance to visit any of the HIV clinics I'd planned on seeing. Guess this trip is going to be all tourism.

So far so good, though. Uganda is beautiful, her people genuine, honest and warm, and its streets safe and navigable. No complaints here!

Leopard in a Sausage Tree

Gotta keep this short... internet access here is tenuous!

Just got back from a 3-day safari near Murchison Falls. Highlights included seeing a leopard in a sausage tree --no joke! Got some great pics of wild elephants, giraffes, etc.

This morning we trekke for 2 hours into a chimp preserve and were rewarded with terrifying screeching and the shaking of trees as the chimps made their displeasure with our presence known. This was followed by urination from great heights and the regular pelting of figs.

Yes, chimp piss and figs. Insert joke here.

In Uganda

Greetings, Deonandites.

I write to you from the Red Chilli Hideaway in Kampala. It's HOT here and there are pretty girls aplenty, both domestic and imported. I haven't slept in 24 hours and must still navigate the city to get a number of errands run. No photos to share with you, but Andrew has several posted on his site.

The gorilla permits have been obtained, and tomorrow we head off to Murchison Falls to raft down the Nile and shriek in fear of wild chimpanzees. I will continue to try to blog about it all, but I promise nothing!

Uganda Bound

Okay we're off. Andrew and I are strapped in and ready to go. Check out his website for a photo of us in the plane!

Return To The Mitre

Greetings, my droogies. Let me tell you about my day in London. It began with a traditional greasy breakfast, pictured below:



Then my hostess Mieke and I sauntered out to Greenwich. Why Greenwich? Well, my lad and lassies, let me tell you a tale. Many years ago my sister married an Irish fellow in London, and I flew out there to do the brotherly in-law thing an attend the wedding. While there I met and dated a young Irish lass who, as it turned out, was a bartender at the Mitre pub in Greenwich. So I ended up spending much of time in that very pub. Days after I went home to Canada, young Pamela informed me that she had placed a photo of us behind the bar in public view.

Well, to no one's surprise, Pamela is no longer at the Mitre pub, and I do hope she has moved on to bigger and better things (no, that's not a euphemism, you jerks). Most saddening, though, is that the photo of us is no longer there, assuming it ever was. Here's a photo of the inside of the modern Mitre pub, which now seems to be a family friendly sort of place:



All right then. Off to the pub with me, then tomorrow brings my lingering hours in London, a rendezvous with fellow gorilla hunter Andrew and a flight to UGANDA!

Adieu, Paris

It's odd that someone who's pushing forty and who's already travelled across much of this great big world has never been to Paris before, but it's true. In two hours I return to London en route to Uganda. So I thought I'd offer some brief observations of Paris before I leave.

This is undoubtedly one of the greatest cities in the world and a de facto capital of Europe. Despite it's great age, the city seems fresh and young and vibrant. People are friendly, despite the stereotype. The women are fashionable, the men less so. They use the full palette of colours; buses are shaded in greens and oranges, clothes in reds and maroons. Children are still children and adults love them for being so. Though an industrial pioneer, the city is home too hectares of greenspace. Truly, it is a joy to walk through and rest in.

I had the good fortune yesterday of mediating between a woman who was walking her dog and a man who wished to park his car where the dog was urinating. Quite hilarious, actually. Even this minor squabble took on an ornate ritualistic dimension, wherein the necessary gestures and expressions were worn, though everyone knew how it would end: the dog must complete its call of nature before the car could park. The gentleman turned to me in protest an I responded, "Qu'est-ce qu'on peut faire?" to which he nodded,"Rien,monsieur. Rien." And the ritual was concluded.

I concluded my visit with the obligatory trip to the top of the Eiffel Tower whereupon a snow storm beset us! My hostess Lauren was kind enough to lead me by the hand across the great heights as I, ever the wimp, am verily terrified of such things, But it was a marvelous experience, made more so for the history that is immediate and tangible. In a single view one can see both Notre Dame and the resting place of Napolean's bones.

I tells ya, people, this is a magical place. I will certainly return!

FAG?

(Note: Before reading this post, please consult the very serious Deonandan.com disclaimer.)

By popular demand, I've dug deep and paid the 4 cents per kb needed to upload the following image from my Treo. It's the UK immigration form with the word FAG on it.:



I'll think about posting some actual images from Paris later on. In the mean time, let me say for the official record: Paris is without question the most beautiful city in the Western world.

Gay Paree

Greetings from Paris, my droogies. I arrived in London this morning after a restless overnight flight, only to be greeted with a UK immigration form with an official stamp that read, FAG. What could this mean? How did they know I was heading to "gay Paree"? Or was it a forewhadowing of the unspeakable liberties a Ugandan gorilla may be taking with me next week? Stay tuned, faithful reader, as this entangled web of juvenile banality unfolds.

The Eurostar train to Paris was quite comfortable. Europeans really know how to do train travel, The only down side was that after a day of enjoying complete mobile phone functionality on London's tube, it was disappointing to receive no signal in the Chunnel! Possibly this was a good thing, as my calls are costing me almost $2/minute. Indeed, my plan blog from my Treo have been modified somewhat as data transfer from my device is costing me 4 cents/kB, which adds up really fast, Right now, I'm using my friend Lauren's computer to make this entry, which unfortunately means I can't share with you (yet) the photos I've taken thus far,

I'm off to bed now after more than 24 hours (and three nations worth) of non-stop sleepless activity. Hopefully I'll have something actually interesting to say tomorrow, but don't hold your breath.

Countdown to Uganda

As the great Schiavo debate continues below, I just wanted to share with everyone a new review of my last book, this time in University of Toronto Quarterly. Let's just say it wasn't too flattering.

Meanwhile, I've managed to get almost all of my pending tasks completed! Yayyy! That means I can ship off to Europe this weekend for a few days of ostentatious tourism, followed by a lengthy flight to Uganda, whereupon I and two good buddies, Sean and Andrew, will trek through the jungle in search of the elusive and rare mountain gorilla, at which point we will feast upon its endangered flesh and claim its hide as our trophy, after engaging in some Abu Ghraib-style recreation, monkey-stylee.

Seriously, we are indeed trekking for gorillas in the Ugandan jungle. After paying our enormous permit, the government will provide us with a guide, a graduate student who records the gorillas' doings (and possibly our doings --who knows what he is a student of?) and an armed guard. I ain't kidding myself, though: if there's any kind of trouble, I fully expect the guard to shoot one of us before he shoots the gorilla. The gorilla is way more valuable.